CIA HQ in 10 Downing Street (Yes we have our reporters there too, the golden bogs are filthy!) reports!
CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) star political reporter, Cederic Upyourarse-Thraithwaite, reporting from below a bog seat and looking up Cameron's arse has just sent this mind-blowing report (If Cameron farts it really will be mind-blowing!)
Brit PM, David Cameron, divulging his latest get tough policy to his missus whilst sitting on the 10 Downing Street bog has revealed that all fatties, junkies, obese people, alcoholics and other lazy bastards sponging off the sickness benefit system will shortly be forced back into work and pay for the pleasure of being fat, lazy, and addicted!
He is planning to get them all off the benefit system by employing a head-hunting expert in the field of getting lazy, fatty, boozed up junkies and nobodies back to work, the only problem is, nobody in their right mind wants to employ them! However, David Cameron is an expert in producing moronic policies because he just happens to be one himself!
If the head-hunter does not succeed then Cameron has promised to employ frustrated, extreme ISIS terrorists contemplating a holiday in Syria or Iraq to do the job for him instead because they are experts in hunting for heads!
BTW, star reporter, Cederic Upyourarse-Thraithwaite, luckily sent this report via mobile phone before David lifted up one cheek of his smooth arse and pressed releasing an explosive combustion filled fart that sent our reporter spinning into a Thames sewerage pipe; must have been all of that nasty caviar PM!