Jaggedone's CIA have just received a report from roving, starving reporter, Jumpa In-Curry-Singh, from an Indian restaurant in Manchester
Ladies and gentleman I have just experienced a near death experience after entering a chicken curry served in Mughli's Indian restaurant. I was enjoying a quick snack when a huge fork from above entered my rear end and before I ended up on the menu, I managed to scarper to the edge of the plate, but sadly the punters saw me and puked!
The restaurant owner then attempted to pull my legs off one by one, but I managed to escape into a convenient rat hole with 2 legs missing, doesn't matter I have 4 more! It was a very unpleasant experience I must say, but the food was astonishing and cost nothing! As for the punters, I am sorry to have spoiled your expensive meal, however, this restaurant should really know better and put some bleach down their bogs otherwise I will be back again for more!"
We at CIA HQ have just heard that the restaurant owner has been arrested for being a dirty scumbag and his establishment is to be closed until Bugkillers Ltd have done a thorough job exterminating my reporters, damn Nazis!
Oh well back to the trashcans!