Spark that blunt, pass the Milwaukee's, and certainly don't pay that child support.
It's Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, everybody!
Which means it's time to extol everything and all things black.
No wonder no one goes to work or school on MLK Day!
So fill your morning today with a tri-marathon of the Friday movies, maybe hit Church's for lunch, and make overtures towards the next fine ass you see!
Inhabit a neighborhood you're not wanted in, scare a white male by walking a little too close behind him, and don't you dare wear a condom or pull out, because today we're all African American.
As a result, yes, we may get capped by an overzealous police officer, but if that does happen, you can bet every last dime of that welfare check the nearest liquor store will be looted and burned in honor of your vicarious black life.
And if anything, please don't be afraid to use any of these exhausted, banal African American stereotypes today.
So let us say hooray for all things black.
Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.