Written by walter

Thursday, 13 November 2014

Common crow admirably performs its organizational assignment as stated in the job description: Urban and Rural Macrophage, duly saved in the crow's DNA. In service of nature, the crow disposes of discarded harmful waste. Biologically, it has all the vital organs that human species has excluding the dangerous mentality of mankind.

At dawn, common crow, an early bird, perches on insulated live cables. It seems its vision, at dawn, is not working properly. Having perched, it starts its unpleasant cawing while the whole world is resting. Why? Perhaps, it is scared of invisible threats loitering in the dark. This repulsive sound goes on and on until other crows of the area respond to the first caller. When all crows in the area echo their cawing in unison and crowd the sky at low level, the first crow seems to have gained confidence and rhythmically starts flip-flapping its wings as if musing what to do next. Eventually, the noise in the entire area subsides completely. Does anybody know why?

Now, the first crow, still perching on the cable, begins its amazing routine ritual of feather maintenance: using it claws like a comb, the bird brushes its face, the corners of its eyes, the skull and the neck. Then the crow uses it long beak to gently grab a feather shaft and slides the beak with safe pressure over the shaft. Every now and then, the bird shakes its ruffled feather to shed away groomed debris.

It is still half dark. Other birds such as doves, mourning doves, sparrows, chickadees, due to poor visibility, are not yet out. When the first rays streaks across the dawn, the male chickadee announces the true daybreak by repeating its routine note, interpretable to: saying 'He is a dictator.'

Of course, the common crow is performing according to the details of the stored instinct; therefore, its behavior unlike man is predictable, at the same time, reminding us of William Blake and the misquoted following: Did-he-who-made-the-dove-make-the ISIS?

Humanity or rather the entire planet earth has suffered a lot at the hand of these sub-humans, ISIS, when they teamed up 1450 years ago in the deserts of Arabian Peninsula. First, they started killing their own Arab relatives: uncles, cousins etc. Then in 635 A.D., they poured like the lava across the neighboring lands, exactly like today: Syria, Iraq etc.

Although ISIS of 1429 A.D. wiped out all information about the Arab inhabitants of that time, we hear that the eliminated so-called pagans of the time were gentle people and familiar with essence of tolerance which was missing in ISIS as of 635 A.D. till present.

Today, 11/13/2014, we heard the three-legged lander, called Rosetta Philae, has landed safely on comet 67P. Perhaps, we may learn how these ISIS sub-humans came to existence. Perhaps we learn how to get rid of them. Perhaps we learn to make the world a safer place. Perhaps we learn of an electromagnetic weapon to turn off the aggressive module in the brain of these sub-humans.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
More by this writer
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story



Go to top
36 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more