To help the American citizen understand what has happened in these difficult economic times, we have assembled some useful definitions:
Paper money: so utterly worthless we should be using shells and beads.
U.S. Debt: the trillions of paper dollars already printed would be like the stars in the Andromeda Galaxy to the order of 10.
Economist: person tasked with making up theories that sound important.
E.B.T. Card: given out because ghetto people can't qualify for real credit cards.
Credit Card: plastic game tokens that are distributed for couples to hide from each other.
Bank: place to keep your "er, um, money" so that it absolutely, positively will be there when you need it.
IRA: Irretrievable Resource Account
Employment: The Bachman Turner Overdrive summed it up this way, "I love to work at nothing all day."
Unemployment: When people take early retirement.
Federal Reserve Board: A special tribe on their own reservation.
National Current Account Deficit: You can only understand this if you are autistic.