Question: So where have you been?
Answer: Just hanging around in the woods.
Question: What do you like to eat?
Answer: Huckleberries, salmon, deer, rodents, and the occasional dog.
Question: What is your favorite pastime?
Answer: Evading humans.
Question: Do you only live in the U.S.?
Answer: Nope, I have relatives all over the world. Ever hear of the Yeti, the Yeren, the Almas, the Yowie? They are all my kinfolk. We try to have reunions every 5 years or so.
Question: What's with the tree knocking?
Answer: For luck! Ever hear of knocking on wood?
Question: Just how big are you?
Answer: A bit smaller than Godzilla, a little bigger than Shaq.
Question: Who do you consider to be your greatest enemy?
Answer: A man with a gun trying to kill me, just to prove I exist.