Written by Bureau

Saturday, 18 January 2014

Dear Diary,

I didn't see any of my last diary entry in the newspapers or entertainment mags or on TV so I guess it's safe.

I did not like that kardashian woman on that photo session. I say right here, I was afraid she would want to pose in my lap.

I would have said no and there was no way I was climbing into hers looking like a ventriloquists dummy.

Kim Kardashian's ass is like a separate creature that someone glued onto an actually petite woman.

But the truth is the huge butt is the only thing that's real about Kim's body. I have to admit thats what somebody else said and I agree.

"Paralyzed for the rest of my life." I hope she gets a big guy as her husband or her next husband, whatever.

I can see someone falling off and breaking an arm or something.

-Justin Bieber

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