Written by Auntie Jean

Monday, 30 December 2013

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image for "What we did" guide to our first family nudist holiday Al Fresco

Sunday: Had breakfast with myself as the only practicing nudist. My wife and kids clearly thought it was an elaborate joke. My daughter wouldn't come out of her room. I played along with the "its a joke" routine until the taxi turned up to take us to the train station.

Arriving at "The Shrivelled Husk" hotel in Huddersfield, we were met by a naked receptionist pervert. We went to the changing rooms behind the reception and did as requested and removed all of our clothes. Vicious looks from my wife and family told me that they were not amused.
Monday : Had to go down to breakfast naked to the disgust of my family who had to be nude too. The landlord, who turned out to be the weird pervert at the reception, served breakfast with all his revolting bits on display. There was no-one else in this terrible place except for the landlord who had funny eyes. Hid for the rest of the day in our room, fully clothed.
Tuesday: Discovered my family had left me in the hotel alone with the weirdo. They had called the Police and social services.
Wednesday: Spent the day being interviewed
by social services.
Thursday: Informed by the Police that my family had been housed in a "refuge" and that I was to be placed on a list of some sort.
Friday: Looking forward to a life on my own in the house, naked. Furtive visits to cold Naturist beaches full of fat Germans may be on the cards.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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