Written by Talking Tic-Tacs

Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Greetings pop pickers.

What follows is a chart rundown of the most used soundbites of which politicians, attempting to outdo each other with, and EVERY media outlet, attempting to shape our opinions with, have utilised in their gushing application of Sainthood to a man who never wanted to be considered a saint because he and no one is. He was however, a great man. (d'oh)

10. Great Man
9. Man of Great Courage
8. Social Liberator
7. Powerful Activist
6. Hero
5. Colossus
4. Inspiring Leader
3. Towering Figure
2. Political Giant
1. Icon

All this despite one morning, according to suppressed reports, when on discovering there was no Rice Krispies left, he was particularly grumpy and not iconic or towering or heroic or colossal at all. Infact he was reportedly downright rude.


Meanwhile in other dead Political Leader news, Margaret Thatcher's privatisation of Hell has continued unabatedly. Satan's formation of Unions seemingly powerless to her policies.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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