Written by Auntie Jean

Wednesday, 27 November 2013

image for Auntie Jean Advises - Convincing from Slough Lady Boy with exfoliating hat

Can I tell if she's a Ladyboy?

"Convincing" asks Auntie Jean's Advice:

Auntie Jean, just lately I have been "misled" by a series of very authentic looking Ladyboys. Sometimes they meet me socially and it's a kiss goodnight afterwards and a tops fondle and tongues.

A few days afterwards, another drink and meal and its a handjob and tops. It can take a week or so of wasted time and money before I find bollocks and a cheesy cock instead of pie.

I would like to know if there's a way to decrease financial layout by detecting Ladyboys at a very early stage before I turn queer please.

Auntie Jean replies:

My dear Convincing,

Yes there is a quite easy way. You must go to a hardware centre and purchase a device for finding metal wires in walls. Surreptitiously put on a pair of headphones and connect them to the detector. Later while relaxing looking at a painting or similar, quickly thrust the probe as near as possible to your proposed partners pubic bone and try to keep It there for thirty seconds or so. If there is an alarm tone in the headphones the detector has found gaffa tape, a metallic based tape used to make trannies' bollocks disappear Into their bum cracks.

I hope this has been of some help to you.

Auntie Jean

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Agony Aunts
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