Written by rfreed

Sunday, 30 September 2012

image for A Creepy Peek At What Passes For Literature At Our Local Law Library


They say that lawyers are a breed apart. In fact, we should wonder if they are really even be considered a part of the human species at all, especially as evidenced by a peek at these books found at our local campus law library:

Famous Humanistic Lawyers- A three page book; one of those being the title page and the other the Table of Contents.

How To Sue Anybody For Anything Anytime- A bestseller

Lawyer Love Stories- only two volumes and mostly pornographic.

Law Ethics- A slim volume that is rarely checked out.

Law Poetry- Non existent.

Law And Censorship- Banned.

Philosophy And Its Implications For Law- Barely read because no one understands it.

Fond Nostalgic Memories Of Lawyers- Stories of strip clubs and all night binges.

Classical Law Literature- So moldy its pages fall apart.

Law Pornography- The most checked out book at the library.

Being A Lawyer For Dummies- The second most checked out book in the library.

The Moral Responsibility Of Lawyers- An obsolete volume being sold used in the book
store for 50 cents.

Anarchistic Law- What all the law students secretly read and dream about but would
never admit to.

Greed And Power- What Is Wrong With That Anyway?- Always checked out.

Getting Rid Of The Constitution- An Important Step In Maximizing Our Income And
Our Power Over The System- Considered a modern classic.

Humanistic Law- and other mythical entities.

The Honest Lawyer- A fairy tale.

Why Steven Spielberg Named The Shark In Jaws After His Attorney- A rare instance of
legal humor.

The Scopes Monkeys Trial- the day the monkeys won.

How To Get Your Conscience Out Of The Way Of Your Making Money- A self help
guide for rabid lawyers.

Sizing Up Your Client- How To Shakedown The Patsy Mentally Before You Even Take Him On As A Client- A bestseller.

Getting Money Out Of The Government (They Are Just A Big Pushover)- A bestseller.

How To Squeeze Money Out Of Even The Poorest Of Clients- A bestseller

International Law; The Fine Art Of Screwing People In Other Countries In Other Languages For Other Money- A bestseller.

How To Grind Someone's Balls To Dust Legally- A bestseller.

Ruining Other Peoples Lives For Fun and Profit- A (need we even say it?) bestseller.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: law suits
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