I regretfully write this letter of complaint after many years as a satisfied customer of your fine products.Some of my particular favorites over the years have been:
1. The Spank The Monkey Masturbation Machine
2. The Really Spank The Monkey Masturbation Machine
3. The Jockey Shorts with Built-in Pocket Pussy
4. A 101 Positions for Lonely men
5. Titslesin's guide to Roman Catholic Ejaculations with Indulgences
As a loyal and much satiated customer, you can imagine my chagrin and shock and awe when I opened the box of my February SexToy of the Month Club that I gave myself for XXXMAS, in mixed company mind you, and found that "The W", advertised as "Texas' Biggest Dick" was not the giant cowboy ding-dong that me and my buddies anticipated.Instead we found a collection of George W Bush's speeches.
Begging your pardon, pardner, but who gets off on this stuff!? As we read through the idiocy limp was all we got!
Please consider substituting one of your more effective products as your February offering.
May I suggest:
1. The Vacuum for Male Evacuation
2. Fellatio, Self-Taught DVD or VHS
3. Where 2 Stick It: working in Peanut Butter, Margarine and Other Medium