Written by Inchcock

Monday, 16 July 2012

image for Nottingham News: For W/E: 14th July 2012 - With Comments Drinkers in Notts could be forced to pay an extra "booze tax" to help meet the cost of late night policing.

Monday 9th July 2012

Topic: Crime - Murder

"Man died after stabbing in Nottingham"

Source: Nottingham Police Site

Extract: A man who died after sustaining injuries during the early hours of this morning was stabbed, police have tonight confirmed.

A Home Office post-mortem examination confirmed the cause of death as a stab wound to the leg.

The victim, who is believed to be in his 20s, was discovered by police in a park just off Oakleigh Street, in Old Basford just after 1am this morning (Sunday 8 July). He subsequently died at Nottingham's Queen's Medical Centre.

Throughout the day, a full forensic search of the park has been conducted. Officers are also viewing CCTV of the area and high visibility patrols are being carried out.

A 15-year-old boy has been arrested in connection with the murder and is currently helping police with their enquiries.

Despite the arrest, detectives are keen to speak to a number of people who were in the area and may have witnessed what happened.

A dedicated email address has also been set up into the incident room at generalenquiries@nottinghamshire.pnn.police.uk

Anyone with information is asked to contact Nottinghamshire Police on 101 ext 811 1945 or Crimestoppers on 0800 555111.

Comment: Another murder within a half-mile of of my house! Nine this year to date! If my contributions to the Spoof suddenly stops, take a peek at this site, my demise may well be on it!

Tuesday 10th July 2012

Topic: Police faux par

"Games console with drugs inside sold online by Notts police"

Source: This is Nottingham

Extract: Notts police have apologised for the mistake which they said happened because the items were 'not thoroughly checked'.

The Sony PSP and case were handed to the force as lost property.

When no one came forward to claim the items they were sold for £21.50 on the Bumblebee Auctions site, which is used by forces to sell property seized from criminals or unclaimed goods.

A police spokesman said the processes followed before items are sent to auction would be looked at as a result of the mistake.

Comment: I bet site gets increased interest now!

Wednesday 11th July 2012

Topic: Sexual assault

"Woman sexually assaulted in car park in Nottingham"

Source: BBC News

Extract: A man is being sought by police in Nottingham after a 40-year-old woman was sexually assaulted in a car park.

She was attacked by a man off Arthur Street at about 00:45 BST last Sunday.

She is receiving treatment after suffering cuts and bruises to her face and body and a puncture wound to her thigh.

Nottinghamshire Police said it believed residents in the Radford and Forest Fields areas of the city could have "vital information".

'Spiky hair': Her attacker has been described as white, muscular, about 5ft 8ins tall and aged in his late 20s to late 30s.

Comment: Sickening!

Thursday 12th July 2012

Topic: Murder - Crime

"Malakai McKenzie murder: Man quizzed over Nottingham shootings"

Source: BBC News

Extract: Detectives investigating the murder of a Nottingham teenager have questioned a 21-year-old man over two earlier shootings.

Malakai McKenzie, 19, was shot in the head outside The Hubb pub in Sherwood on 21 April.

Police have linked his death to the earlier firearms incidents in Riber Crescent on 30 March and Waterford Street on 3 April.

The 21-year-old was arrested in connection with these and bailed.

Three men have been charged with murdering Mr McKenzie, who was from the Whitemoor area of the city.

Comment: How reassuring!

Friday 13th July 2012

Topic: Alcoholism - Crime - Police

"'Booze tax' for Nottingham drinkers could pay for late-night police"

Source: Nottingham Post

Extract: Police want to introduce the Late Night Levy of up to £4,440 a year on businesses selling alcohol between midnight and 6am. Police figures show that from January 2012 to May 2012, nearly 80 per cent of incidents in the city centre on Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday night occurred between midnight and 5am. Nearly 45 per cent happened on Saturday and Sunday night.

Comment: Another indirect tax? Surely not?

Extract: Drinkers in Notts could be forced to pay an extra "booze tax" to help meet the cost of late night policing.

Police want to introduce the Late Night Levy of up to £4,440 a year on businesses selling alcohol between midnight and 6am.

Notts Police say the payment, which could come into force next year, will help pay for policing the city overnight, when the majority of incidents occur.

Club and pub owners say the additional charges will have to be passed on to drinkers and warned it could lead to more closures in the struggling industry.

Comment: Oh dear!

Sunday 15th July 2012

Topic: Girl found safe

"Missing teenage girl is found"

Source: This is Nottingham

Extract: A 15-year-old girl reported as missing from Annesley has been found.

Notts Police issued an appeal for information on Friday after Ellie Mae Ashley disappeared on Thursday night.

On Sunday a Notts Police spokeswoman said the teenager had been found "safe and well

Comment: At last - Good news!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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