Bless me FrF 4 I have sinned.It's been 10 minutes since my last confession.I stepped on someone's toes while leaving the computer gazebo in St Scrupulosity.I failed to grovel sufficiently in my apology and then I let the cathedral door slam behind me.
But the real thing I want to confess is my sin of resentment when others don't believe the really incredible accomplishments of my life. I know they are unbelievable and so I should understand the natural skepticism an extraordinary fellow like myself will inevitably encounter.
But I don't and so mea culpa...Like the time I was telling my colleagues about how I was advising the president of Notre Dame and the head football coach of the University of Colorado asked me to fly out and give a pep talk to his team in the big bowl game.
They seemed to buy the tale thus far but when I told them how the plane got in trouble and the pilot and co-pilot fainted and I landed the jumbo jet on a Rocky Mountain peak and had to carry the survivors on my back down the mountainside, fed them on venison from deer I caught and strangled with my barehands and still made it to the locker room,covered in venison blood, for the halftime speech that motivated the Bisons to overcome a 66-0 deficit and become national champions for which they awarded me the big, ostentacious ring I wear all the time.
Well,my usually very impressed co-workers started to roll their eyes and cast side-long glances of disbelief at each other.God forgive me and especially you, Fr Frederick "The Great" Tittlesin, forgive me for my sin of resentment.
Your loyal and groveling humble servant,
Just make sure you continue to send those really ridiculously large checks you extorted or stole from God knows who and I will forgive your sorry ass and keep you from the fires of hell as long as you make your payments faithfully on the 1st and the 15th. Ego te absolvo, nunc sed non semper.