Written by Bureau

Thursday, 23 February 2012

image for Smokin' The Bluegrass of Kentucky "I been happy for a week!"

Goosey Holler, Kentucky

Ralph has an official mental malady where he draws a Crazy Check from the U.S Government directly related to having parents who are closely related, plus a little too much weed in his system. However, times are hard in Goosey Holler as everywhere else, so Ralph has been manufacturing and selling concrete items on the side.

"What are those thangs, Ralph?", asks one of his many cousins, who dropped by once he saw the "Concrete Garden Thangs In Many Famous Poses For Sell!" sign.

"Oh, you mean those in the back of the place? I don't know. But one thang I can tells you, they's are a bargain. Two bucks each! I made them first and I was kinda..you know..messed up. But these here front ones are for sale at ten bucks a piece. They's Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs! Right purdy if I do say so myself."

"I might buy the whole set! How many pieces are there?"

"Well, let's see. First there's Snow White…then there's one..two. That makes three."

"Does Snow White cost more? They would look purdy in Alice's garden out back of the double-wide. She's growing corn back there. I'm sort of planting my favorite crop in between the corn rolls. I could surprise her with Snow White & Seven Dwarfs out there for her to wake up to tomorrow morning. It's out anniversary or her birthday. I forget which."

"You made me lose count, Melvin. Snow White is $10 too. Used the same amount of concrete. Got two extra in the garage. Got one that looks more like Godziller. It's one of them in the back. Those are two dollars."

"Well, I want the whole set. I mean with the good Snow White. Alice would have a hissy fit if she woke up to Godziller and seven dwarfs. How much?"

"I'm figuring that. If you'd shut yore tater trap long enough for me to count them pieces. Now…there's Snow White..that's one. Then there's one, two, three….Melvin, git outa the way, you made me count two Dopeys!"

"That countin's gonna take all morning, Ralph. What if I pay you $50 and bring you over some prime stuff once the crop comes in?"


"Done! Now help me load this here wheelbarrow."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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