Written by Inchcock

Sunday, 19 February 2012


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image for A True Diary of Woe - Part Forty-Three Intruder on Site.. I slid after him!

A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947

Chapter 87 - Guarding: The Tunnel Chase - a rare Victory
Well... I say victory...

I was assigned to an out of the way Brick making company just outside of Nottingham. The site was spread over the brow of a hill.

At the bottom. the offices, then the storage park, the massive workshops, then mud up to a tunnel with a conveyor belt, that I could walk through up to the gigantic waste tip at the top of the hill for patrolling/responses.

It was a Saturday night, the only night there was no workers at the plant. I was on a spot patrol up at the tip, checking the gates there.

As I turned to make my way back to the tunnel, I spotted a bloke doing a runner into the tunnel - the chase was on!

I RT'd control as I pursued the intruder, asking for back-up.

As I reached the entrance to the tunnel, I slipped on the wet mud, and slid down on my rear-end at great ever increasing speed and pain.

My RT, torch, hat, and dignity were lost on the slopes of that tunnel. As I exited the bottom of the tunnel, my heart jumped as I was launched into the air.

I landed on the intruder.

As we struggled on the ground, the night manager (who had external gate keys) arrived on the scene, quickly followed by the police.

They apprehended the youth, and said they have called an ambulance for me, how did I feel?

When I realised they thought I'd bravely tackled the intruder through heroism and dedication, I did not want to lose that rare moment of praise.

We went to the gatehouse to sort out the paperwork etc, and there I noticed in the mirror that I did look injured, with all the red mud/dust I'd picked up on my bum-ski down the tunnel, had made my face look injured.

I convinced them that I was alright, just a few bruises and nicks. They cancelled the ambulance, and I continued to relish the part of being the hero.

The police left, and I went to the gate to see off the night manager, secured the gate, and got back to clean myself up and get on with my duties.

One of which, was to start the kiln at 0500hrs.

Could I find the keys?

It took me hours searching that bloody tunnel before I found them!

More to follow

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Diary, memories, True, Woe
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