Written by Inchcock

Saturday, 18 February 2012

image for Nottingham News for W/E 18th February 2012 - with comments Nottingham to lose hundreds of policemen - sent to London to police the Olympics!

Monday 13th February 2012:
Topic: Nottingham Crime
Failed asylum seeker committed £14k benefits fraud in Nottingham
Source: This is Nottingham
Mohammed Hossein Gholamy, 27, of Maud Street, New Basford, had denied the charges but was found guilty at Nottingham Magistrates' Court.
The court heard that after being refused asylum, Gholamy made further representations about his claim in June 2009 and was banned from working while the UK Border Agency considered his additional evidence. But after being arrested for being drunk and disorderly in June 2011, officers found documents in his possession - including vehicle registration, bank statements and a taxi licensing application - which indicated he had another income.

Gholamy was sentenced to 60 days in prison, suspended for a year.

"60 days in so called prison, for frauding £14,000? I bet this will really scare others who are doing it!

Tuesday 14th February 2012:
Topic: Nottingham Crime
Nottingham burglar snared by police 'capture house'
Source: This is Nottingham
A Nottingham burglar was caught on camera raiding one of Nottinghamshire Police's 'capture houses' designed to catch thieves.

Ricky Clarke, of Westminster Close, near St Ann's, appeared before Nottingham Magistrates on Friday charged with burglary and theft at a house in Burns Street, Nottingham.

He was captured on camera entering the property on February 2 and made off with property which had been placed there by police.

The address was a police 'capture house' fitted with recording equipment and crime detection tools such as SmartWater.

DS Craig Luckett, of the city burglary team, said: "The Force continues to use 'Capture Houses' throughout Nottinghamshire as a tool in the fight against crime.

"This recent apprehension of yet another burglar caught in one of our houses evidences just how effective they are."

"No trial for him yet, but we need to see how effective sentencing can be... slaps on the wrist will not make Nottingham any safer!"

Wednesday 15th February 2012:
Topic: Nottingham Crime
200 Nottingham police officers to go to London for the Olympic Games
Source: This is Nottingham - Evening Post
200 Notts Police officers will be sent to London every day during the 2012 Olympics.
The announcement means that one in ten of all officers in Notts are being sent to the capital each day during the course of the Games - which run from July 27 until August 12 - and through to the Paralympic Games which start on August 29 and finish on September 9.

"I really wish they had not made this public - now the massive criminal elements of Nottingham will have a field day, or several!"

Thursday 16th February 2012:
Topic: Nottingham Crime
Three jailed for attacking police van during Nottingham 'riots'
Source: This is Nottingham - Photo's
Three men who were involved in last summer's outbreaks of violent disorder in Nottingham have been jailed for a total of eight years.
Perry Atherton and Frazer Giscombe were sentenced to three years each at Nottingham Crown Court.
Co-accused Ricky Hudson got two years yesterday.
The men were arrested after a police van was bombarded with bricks, rocks and wood in Peel Street on August 9.
A group of 8-10, some wearing disguises and dark clothes, scattered as police moved in to arrest them.

Atherton, Giscombe and Hudson were caught and charged with violent disorder.
Judge Michael Stokes QC said the sentences marked the gravity of what happened and were to act as a deterrent.

"And this summer, we in Nottingham will have 200 less police officers to keep the peace, when they are sent to cover the London Olympics!!!"

Friday 17th February 2012:
Topic: Nottingham Crime
82-year-old Grandmother chases off burglars after attack on her dog!
Source: This is Nottingham / Evening Post
The Great-Grandmother fought off a burglar during a bungled break-in at her home. Thelma Bardsley, 82, battled one intruder with her walking stick while two others tried to burgle her Long Eaton home.

She hit one of the men three times on his arm as he held her back, then once more on the knee before he and his two accomplices fled empty handed from her bungalow.

The trio, who police are trying to trace, also sprayed liquid in the face of her five-year-old shih tzu Kracker, who suffered damage to his eyes.

"How sick is this world coming to?"

Saturday 18th February 2012:
Topic: Nottingham Crime
Police 'should have taken drugs-claim teen to hospital'
Source: "Nottingham Today - Evening Post
It is claimed that police should have taken a teenager to hospital when he told them packages of cocaine had burst inside him, according to a senior officer.

Reece Staples, 19, died when parcels of cocaine he had smuggled from Costa Rica leaked into his bloodstream.

The point is he should not have had been smuggling cocaine inside or outside of him!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
More by this writer
Read full story
Read full story
Read full story
Read full story
Read full story
Read full story

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more