Written by Thomas S. Guisto

Saturday, 11 February 2012

image for Are Blondes Dumb?

Question: How many Blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer: Five, one to hold the light bulb and four to spin the ladder around!

Recently a friend emailed me several Blonde jokes, including the one above. I first heard this "dumb" joke in the playgrounds of the 1940s, but they weren't Blondes who were spinning the ladder around. Back then the "they" were Americans of certain ethnic or racial ancestry who did the spinning, holding, and other idiotic things. In addition, slurs were often used to identify the heritage of these dumb people doing stupid things. As a rule, the specific target of these jokes depended on who was telling the joke.

But after years of new laws, regulations, and sensitivity training, it is no longer "Politically Correct" or appropriate to use ethnic or racial groups in the telling of dumb jokes. And it is no longer appropriate to use ethnic or racial slurs in the telling of anything.

However, while it is socially unacceptable to make fun of people because of the color of their skin, apparently it is acceptable to make fun of them because of the color of their hair. Blondes have replaced the former ethnic or racial groups and are now the minority of choice. By making Blondes the brunt of these jokes, aren't we just changing our focus of vilification to a more acceptable subgroup of Americans?

Is this disparagement against Blondes a step closer towards outright discrimination? Will Blondes be denied employment because of the color of their hair? Will Sports Illustrated ban Blondes from their swimsuit issue? Will Blondes, with the help of chemicals in a bottle or a wig, try to pass as brunettes?

How can Blondes expect to have more fun if non-Blondes keep belittling them more and more? To end this belittlement should the government include Blondes as a protected minority? Would it be appropriate for the government to start including the "color of hair" as a specific category under the data collected for race/ethnicity reports? Should the police be required to determine a person's hair color along with race and ethnic classification? But is this going too far just to prevent a perceived problem of police profiling i.e., "driving while Blonde"?

How will Blondes combat discrimination? Will they form organizations, such as BADD (Blondes Against Disparagement & Discrimination)? Will BADD run essay contests - What It Means to be Blonde in America? Will BADD boycott the tellers of Blonde jokes? Will BADD march on Washington?

In the meantime, to end this demeaning treatment based on the color of a person's hair, maybe we should use a more genetic, non-offensive term in our joke telling. Why not replace "Blonde" with "Intelligence Deprived Person"?

Changing another Blonde joke my friend sent me to an Intelligence Deprived Person joke, now reads:

An Intelligence Deprived Person secretary was found using the following computer password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyParis"

When asked why the password was so long, the Intelligence Deprived Person said that the password was required to be at least eight characters long and include at least one capital.

However after reading the joke several times, I must admit that it sounds much funnier if the secretary was a Blonde!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Blonde, Stupid
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