Joketsuzoku Warriors Splash Trump, McConnell, Kavanaugh with Nyannichuan Water
WASHINGTON D.C. - Chaos erupted in the nation's capital as elite members of the Joketsuzoku splashed President Donald Trump, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, and Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh with Nyannichuan water from the cursed springs of Jusenkyo. The Joketsuzoku, a tribe of female warriors embedded deep in the deepest mountainous regions of China, were rumored to have died o...
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Sheogorath, Daedric Prince of Madness: “Those Pro-Lifers Are Out of Their Damned Minds”
NEW SHEOTH, THE SHIVERING ISLES – Sheogorath, the Daedric Prince of Madness, invited news reporters from MSNBC, CNN, CBS, ABC, Comedy Central, TBS, HBO, The Onion, and The Spoof to attend a press conference in New Sheoth, Sheogorath's home in the Shivering Isles. According to Tamriel lore, Sheogorath has spent countless millennia interfering with the lives of mortals, with acts ranging from mak...
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Facebook CEO Vladimir Putin Denies Possibility of Russia Using Facebook for Disruptive Activities
MENLO PARK, CA: Facebook CEO Vladimir Putin sternly rejected the possibility of Russian interference using Facebook. Putin sighed, then explained, “You Americans – of which I am one, of course – love to spend every waking hour obsessed with fake news, zombies, and womens' sexuality. In Mother Russia, – which is the enemy of all who live, of course – the citizens are more concerned with how the...
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Colin's Bad Luck With The Ladies
An Englishman's wedding day was laid to waste when his bride-to-be told him she needed to "pop outside for a cigarette", and was never seen again. Colin 'D' was due to tie the knot at a Registry Office in Bournemouth with his intended, whose name does not matter, so don't ask. The woman got as far as arriving at the office and taking a seat inside, before starting to show signs of extreme an...
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The Mona Lisa: What's So Good About It?
To Would or Would Not Part 1
Petty Criminal? Bearing a Grudge? No Luck With the Ladies? Loser? Why Not Join Isis?
Heatwave causes WAN-KIN-DIK's Chinese cabbage to shrivel!! Nutters Beach Club / treinta y cinco!
To Would or Would Not - Part 2
Oswald Shot JFK, Man Walked on Moon and Other Conspiracies
Indian Phone Calls - How To Deal With Them
I Am Anonymous
Have A Trump-Free Day!
The Other, Unofficial and Definitely Un-Presidential Meanings of 'POTUS'.
To Would or Would Not Part 3
The Hunt for "Deep Thought"
NATO Is Shocked And Dismayed By Trump
NATO members are shocked by Trump’s unfounded criticisms, numbers, and railing. "He is telling falsehoods!" "Making total distortions of nations and history!" "This is outlandish!" Psst, don’t tell anyone: Putin hates NATO, and Trump’s Putin’s boy and Trump is reciting the Putin script. Really? Yeah, well, he’s doing exactly what he did during the presidential election: lies, distortions...
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Total War Against the Taiwanese Mosquitoes
One very odd and disturbing thing I noticed while living in Taiwan as an overseas teacher is that all the mosquitos there were extremely intelligent. They would carefully strategize how and when they were going to sting you. I had worked at a summer camp in the United States before, so I knew the absolute hell they could wreak on a person's nerves. All of the American mosquitos at summer camp...
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The Greatest Escape: A Magician's Tale
I’m baaaaaaaaack! Not much to brag about though. Here I am, lying on the train tracks in a dark, dreary NYC subway tunnel under Grand Central Station. Just been hit by a speeding train, my body is bloody and battered. Ouch! I’m a magician, so I’ll just have to work some magic to pull myself together and get out of here. I’ve been dead since 1926, I died of peritonitis, but I’m not gonna let...
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Double Trouble
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. That was several years ago. They haven’t been seen since. Okay, okay, strictly speaking, the twins didn’t go to “fetch a pail of water.” It didn’t happen exactly like the nursery rhyme. But they DID go up a hill and were never seen coming down. That’s a definite. And water played a big, big part in the story of the two missing seventh...
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Breaking news…
Trump Said News Media The Enemy
Trump said the news media was the enemy of the people. Saudi newsman Jamal Khashoggi was critical of the Saudi government, then goes missing in the Saudi Embassy in Turkey? Looks like a green light.
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Seven day catch up
Check out anything you've missed with the archive:
The Great White Id
i Daily watch the Great White Id Huffing and puffing away. He’ll gladly tell you what he did To madly disrupt your day. He tweets his Id thoughts from his Throne— His petty gripes and “So unfairs!” Civility he now bemoans And offers us instead despair. His Little Ids feed off his spew And swallow every lie he tweets. His policies the poor now screws— (The same who sport their cle...
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Benghazi and Brett Kavanaugh
Two-year investigation on Benghazi at the cost of over eight million dollars, but only a four-day investigation on an accused sex offender, perjurer, and drunk who believes he is entitled to a chair on the Supreme Court. Ignore the forty witnesses who could have supported Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s testimony, and give Kavanaugh a chair. A Kavanaugh chair to the Supreme Court is worse than 9/1...
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Google Spying On Its Users
Google is spying on its users and tracking their movements in a secretive way, according to stuff I read on the internet. So that they can feel safe, and to conceal their whereabouts, Google's users are usually advised to turn off their 'Location History', but this has been found to be insufficient, and that Google are still able to track users' locations, unless the user also disables the opti...
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Special Counsel Releases More Tapes Recorded by Trump's Lawyer
It was revealed that Trump's personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, whose office was raided by Special Prosecutor Mueller, has lots of secret tapes he recorded of him and Trump. Among the admissions are: 1. Trump is barely a millionaire, much less a billionaire. 2. When Eric was a baby they would leave him in the middle of nowhere but he always found his way back home. 3. Trump has a guy to twee...
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Where are they now? Alan Smithee, Film Director
A director like no other, Alan was loved, admired, scorned, worshipped, hated, both famous and infamous. Alan's final work was his 1998 self-titled epic "An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn" and to much consternation it was in 2000 that his retirement was officially announced by the Directors Guild of America (DGA). Although Alan had begun directing in 1955 with The Indiscreet Mrs. Jarvi...
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Bill Cosby Is A Victim Of 'The Law' (Or He Might Be, But We'll Never Know For Sure)
Bill Cosby, the comedian, who was jailed as a result of being found guilty of, is a victim of 'Law', and should be freed immediately. The law, in most countries, decrees that people thought to have broken the law with regard to 'serious crime', should go to prison. This is where the Law makes its biggest mistake. Before we get to that, however, we must first establish that a person is gui...
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How to Deal with the Fact that You are a Complete and Total Loser
WARNING: This article was written by a rage-filled and heavily intoxicated author who feels a constant need to express disgusting and needless humor for the sole purpose of fulfilling his own vile ego. It lacks any sort of idealistic cause, and it basically says nothing that should be thought about deeply or even remembered. Thematic patterns do not exist within the structure of its content, gr...
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Longwood High School Welcomes Its New Counselor, Mr. Peter Grabber
Longwood High School is proud to welcome its new School Counselor, Mr. Peter Grabber. Mr. Grabber was recently interviewed and hired by District Principal, Mr. Rod Whitestain, and his Assistant Principal, Ms. Oval Peckertracks. He will be replacing the school's previous counselor, Mr. Bendem Overfast. When asked why he chose 'student counseling' as a career path, Mr. Grabber said he was inspir...
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'Pussy Riot' At the Nutters Beach Club! день тридцать семь den' tridtsat' sem'!
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Born To Spoof New Beginnings Chapter 5: We Meet Again!
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OMAROSA Spelled Backwards: ASORAMO...
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80 Shopping Days To Christmas
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Biofuels Research in Canada
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Dia treinte y seite / Nutters Beach Club opens again after heatwave dries out Volga Olga's boney groin!
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Fur coats at the Nutters' Beach Club! Dia cuarente y cinco.
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A Day in the Life of Eric Trump
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“A Mighty Fortress Is Our Trump”
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If A Future Supreme Court Nominee Wiggles His Penis In A Woman's Face, But Nobody Sees It, Did It Really Happen?
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