World Cup For Village Idiots Won By Welsh...

Funny story written by Scooter Nairns

Saturday, 19 September 2020

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Stop making idiots famous...

Building contractor Jock McGonigal went into Parkhead Building Supplies, in St Ninians, and asked Mr John Welsh if we could get 100 FREE 'Heavy-Duty Polythene Bags' because we were working two jobs at the same time. One job was lifting rubble from the jail out at Denny, and the other job was lifting rubble from the Bank Of Scotland out at Dunblane. It was pretty hard going as there were hundreds of steps and, therefore, we couldn't use a wheelbarrow.

I'm pretty sure Jock McGonigal could have just taken the 100 bags from the pallet in the corner of the merchant's yard, but that wasn't our ethos. A man of his stature was never going to be stopped in his tracks anyway. But that would have been frowned upon by everybody in the building trade, because it is basically stealing.

The deal-breaker at that point was pricing for both jobs needed £10,500 of materials from The Building Supplies Company. A lot of money back in the day, and as far as anybody is concerned, (with the exception of Marshalls and Ogilvie), we were putting a lot of business their way.

To be fair to Mr Welsh, his quota of bags in the yard was limited, and priced at roughly 25p-a-bag or something like that. He stood his ground with Jock, and said he'd only throw in 25 bags FREE-OF-CHARGE, and we would just have to re-use them four times!

Genius! John Welsh now works for MENSA...

Luckily, Johnston And Paton's was just along the road to save the day...

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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