Wife Gently telling her Husband that John has died (1980)

Funny story written by Thelonius

Tuesday, 18 August 2020

image for Wife Gently telling her Husband that John has died (1980)
I checked with your sister. It’s not your brother-in-law. Sorry.

Morning sweetie. Here’s your coffee.

I’m sorry, but I need to tell you something and let me say first of all, that it’s sad news. Someone has died. No, not your mother, but the clock is ticking on that one. And it’s not any of your relatives or friends. No, not your brother-in-law. Yes, I’m sure and I’m sorry. Yes, I’ll check in with your sister on that one, but....

This guy does this ( guitar playing motion ). No, not Jose Feliciano and not Eric Clapton. Relax, they are just fine last I heard. Yes, I agree. I’m glad too.

This guy sings. No, not Tom Jones. Why the hell would you say Tom Jones? I said he plays the fucking guitar! Tom Jones doesn’t even play the maracas. Well, maybe he does in private but what the hell does that have to do with anything?

No, listen sweetie. This guy was in a rock and roll band you liked from the sixties. No. Not Herman’s Hermits! I said rock and roll! Jesus! Yes, Peter Noone was very cute back then and it’s very nice that he’s not dead. I’m relieved too, and happy for you and I guess for him and his family.

But let me say this. This guy was in a group, and I know because you’ve told me before that he wasn’t your favourite one, so sweetie, it’s not as bad as it could be.

Here’s a hint. It’s not Paul....... And, no, it’s not Peter and it’s not Mary either you idiot.

God Almighty, he was in a group with Ringo! Oh, you’d be OK with that?

Then it was George for Christ’s sake!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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