Segway Owner Memorial - 10th Anniversary

Funny story written by ExiledRoyal

Friday, 14 August 2020

image for Segway Owner Memorial - 10th Anniversary
Segway Owners Club 'Big Day Out'

Millionaire owner of Segway firm, Jimi Heselden, died in a freak accident on 26th September 2010. He had bought the Segway company less than a year before, and died after riding one of the scooters off a cliff and into the River Wharfe, near his Yorkshire home.

"Jimi was an amazing man who was remarkably selfless and generous, though he didn't have a very good sense of balance," said Mike Rashedbike, the chief executive of Leeds City Council.

"It was just super-unlucky," Mr Rashedbike went on. "Not so much a 'Weebles Wobble But They Don't Fall Down' as ... well ... it's a bit like James Dyson hoovering himself to death, or George Foreman grilling himself into oblivion."

The Segway company has recalled over 130,000 of the self-balancing scooters because of a recently discovered software problem. It had previously recalled thousands of the machines because of another problem ... it turned ordinary human beings into prats.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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