Covid-19 Pandemic Insomnia Epidemic

Funny story written by ExiledRoyal

Wednesday, 5 August 2020

image for Covid-19 Pandemic Insomnia Epidemic
9pm - Early Night Tonight 3am - LOL

We've been hit by an Insomnia epidemic during the Covid pandemic.

Even with lockdown restrictions easing, many of us are struggling to sleep. Studies have shown that the first four weeks of lockdown led to the sharpest increase in sleepless nights – but insomnia still persists, even with lockdown restrictions easing.

Ivor Snorebitz is someone who's been struggling for several months to sleep. "It got so bad I had to go to see the doctor," Ivor told us. "He wasn't best pleased, it being three in the morning. Then he told me to try sitting on the edge of the bed till I dropped off."

He also said that, in addition to insomnia, he was also challenged with ADD. "The doc also told me to count sheep. Didn't work. One sheep…two sheep…cow..duck… Old Macdonald had a farm --- Heeeeey, Macarena!”

The Insomniacs Advice Centre is open from 9 til 5, weeknights. Olga Rhythm, shift manager, said, "You get all sorts of advice like 'Don't drink alcohol' or 'Leave your phone alone'. But, to be honest, one of the main ways that seems to work is music. Coldplay have been putting people to sleep since 1996."

Rhythm added, "I have terrible insomnia. I sleep like a baby all night."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more