Protecting the Public from What Really Matters

Written by Thelonius

Saturday, 30 May 2020

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Son of a monkey! Watch the language.

“OK Jim, show the footage of the guy getting strangled to death again.”

Again boss?

“Yes, Jim. And in slow-motion this time, please.”

Sorry, boss, we wore out the tape.

“Well, then, let’s get over there by those policemen wrestling with the protester. There. They got the cuffs on. Was that blood on her face, Jim? Did you get a closeup? Look! That guy’s lighting the building on fire. Pan out and get the fire and smoke. Don’t miss all the broken glass."

Oops! Someone wrote a dirty word on that building. Sorry the camera caught that, boss.

“Shiitake mushrooms! Me and you both, Jim! There are children watching! We apologize for that, folks. People here must be more upset than I thought!”

“Look there, Jim! They’re looting! I don’t believe it! Who carries three TVs? I tell you. Get those young girls fighting over the hair drier. Boy! That got her attention! Don’t you wish you had a left hook like that Jim?”

Did you hear that? Sorry, boss.

“Sugar snap peas! Does he kiss his kids with that mouth? We should be on a two-minute delay here, Jim. There’s no call for that kind of language! Folks, we are so sorry you had to hear that. Quick, Jim! There’s some people setting a police car on fire. Can we get a closer look? There might be somebody in there.”

Pretty salty language on that shirt, boss. You see that?

“Yes, Jim, and so did the people at home, thank you very much! Please be careful with that camera! Sorry, folks. We’re trying to protect you from the worst of this. Vulgarity has no place here.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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