Written by Matt Morchower

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

1. Solo Shot: The standard.

2. Pet: A little off-center, but passable. Can be cute.

3. Kids: Asking for guy in white van to abduct him/her. Or, "look what I made!" Yo, your kid isn't an art project.

4. With Friend: How attached are you? And which one are you? Get your own identity.

5. With Boyfriend/Girlfriend: "Nobody thought I could do it...so there. Especially my single friends."

6. With Husband/Wife: "This is 50% of my identity. Oh, and nobody thought I could do it...so there. My single friends." (P.S.: Now, how come we can't comment if the spouse if funny-looking?)

7. Slogan/Sticker/Photo: "Ban the NRA." "Obama 2012. Romney/Ryan 2012." "Go Steelers." OK, I guess. Better to feel something than nothing at all. Though if you have "Romney/Ryan" in your ID photo...you just got deleted from my "friends" list.

8. Blank: Either overweight, balding, private or in witness protection.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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