The Gay Games

Funny story written by gopherash

Friday, 25 May 2007


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"The purpose of the Federation of Gay Games (FGG) is to foster and augment the self-respect of lesbians and gay men throughout the world and to engender respect and understanding from the non-gay world, primarily through an organized international participatory athletic and cultural event held every four years, and commonly known as the Gay Games."

Okay, so its an event organised to gain respect for lesbians and gay men throughout the world, excellent! I'm all for that, promote gay issues and awareness of equality and certain topics through sport, good plan!


how do you prove you're gay enough to enter the gay games?

"The Gay Games are open to all who wish to participate, without regard to sexual orientation. There are no qualifying standards to compete in the Gay Games. They bring together athletes and artists from all over the world, many from countries where homosexuality remains illegal and hidden."

Yes I'm as confused as you, I mean I was always a little curious as to how exactly one proved themselves as eligible to enter the gay games, but it seems they've bypassed that problem completely by saying anyone can enter.

THEY KEPT IT SECRET!!! Now I can enter too, which I might just do.

But doesn't that then make the whole premise of a Gay Games a little flawed?

What if those rowing guys, I forgot their names, Pinsent and bald guy! what if they entered the Gay Games? They'd blow away (or should that be off) the field. That's a bad example they did quite well already, okay how about Darren Campbell (I looked his name up especially). Campbell is a decent enough runner, few medals here and there but nothing too special. Put him in the Gay Games and he is going to win.

Why? Because suddenly when you realise you're gay you become 4 100ths of a second slower than the average sprinter? No. If somebody is born and they realise they're gay do they suddenly have to give up the discus because the physics of becoming gay mean discus throwing isn't possible? No again.

Surely if a gay athlete is any good they will just compete in the Olympics, same goes for transsexuals. look at Fatima Whitbread, she competed for years as a woman, but we all knew secretly. and Linford Christie, he wasn't a man or woman, just a penis with legs. He pretty much won every race before he even started. I used to enjoy watching his lunchbox waggle hypnotically as he ran.

I'm looking like a good candidate for the gay games now, aren't I? Maybe that's the real point after all!

I don't know what my point was, I think I just wanted to make silly statements about being gay affecting how well you throw a discus. I wonder if it does, you know, being limp-wristed 'n all?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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