Spoof Entertainment correspondent Wanda Partay has exciting news regarding the musical lineup for the Royal Wedding.
"I've got exciting news regarding the musical lineup for Royal Wedding! Well, y'know how Sir Elton played that song at Di's funeral? He's BACK! He's going to do that Queen number, 'Another one bites the dust'! But better than that, he's going to be joined by X-Factor favourite Wagner!"
Clarence House are refusing to be drawn, although they do admit that Simon Cowell has been given the job of organising the post wedding party.
Wanda tells us, "I've been up to the hotel where Wagner's staying (he's been kicked out of the X-Factor house for being grossly overweight) and have spoken to him. I met him in the bar. He was very very drunk and tried to put his hands down my blouse. But he says that he's up for it and is already starting to learn the words."
"Another one bites the dust" is probably an apt description pending Wagner's appearance on tonight's show.
Wagner is 83.