Jon & Kate - Jordan & Peter in Wife Swap Sex Shock

Funny story written by Not The Nine O'clock News

Thursday, 30 July 2009


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image for Jon & Kate - Jordan & Peter in Wife Swap Sex Shock
Filming moves to the garden as Jon is offered a monster double ended dildo

Orgy on Wife Swap as new breakups Jon Gosselin, Kate Gosselin, Peter Andre and Katie Price play out 'real life' swinging sex scenes in the latest episode of the hit TV series.

Jon and Kate Plus 8 viewers will be shocked to see Jon banging Katie (aka Jordan, the popular ex model, turned UK horse riding enthusiast with massive tits) furiously over a pommel horse in Jordans stable, wearing a cowboy hat and spurs.

In other amazing scenes, octodad Jon is seen letting out 'years of frustration', he put it later, as Jordan was seen licking his balls, gagging on his 11 inch cock and swallowing his load.

"I like chinese men" giggled a confused Jordan. "Confucius he say, small man, big cock - and its true, he's hung like a donkey and looks like one". said the model famously known for being all tits and no brain.

Meanwhile things began much quieter over at The Gosselin residence. Kate, the frumpy controlling one and Peter, the nice guy one, decide that they would talk things through at first and 'get to know each other' a little.

"I decided we should communicate at first, as an expression of our interest" expressed decisively interested, caring mother of 8, Kate.

"And I wanted to be there for her" said Pete in a soft as shit voice intended to melt the hearts of teen girls, milfs & grannies everywhere.

But as is usual for the quiet ones, they usually are the worst and viewers will be amazed to see submissive Pete trussed up and Hog Tied upside down whilst Dominatrix Kate buttfucks him with a 14" strapon.

They go wild in the kitchen as Octomum Kate makes an eight portion size vanilla ice cream sundae and spreads it onto Peters rampant cock, before ramming her pussy down on his face and cleaning his manhood, rim and all.

"TV Gold" were the words coming out of Wife Swap producer Max Sparkles mouth today, after the new show, titled - 'Hot Octo-pussy Four-play' was due to be aired tonight around the globe.

Late Breaking News - The NTNON team categorically denies the allegations from spurious sources, that they spent the whole night deliberately watching porn to make up this story. "It was merely research" said a spokesman.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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