Eric Clapton Expelled From Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in Wake of Anti-Vax Remarks

Funny story written by Ryan McPherson

Friday, 12 November 2021

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Cleveland, Ohio - Eric Clapton has been expelled from the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame after his recent anti-vax comments. The Hall announced the unprecedented move after the once-popular singer/guitarist said he wouldn’t perform concerts in venues that require audiences and crews to be vaccinated against Covid-19.

“Comments like that go against common sense and medical advice,” said Hall spokesperson Sally Down. “We cannot in good conscience, celebrate such a criminal lack of common sense.”

Clapton, the only three-time inductee in Hall history, representing the Yardbirds, Cream, and his solo career, is the only artist to have his honors revoked.

“We probably should have thought twice about Clapton before his first induction in 1992, knowing his history of dumb comments,” said Down, referring to Clapton’s 1976 racist tirade.

Although Clapton apologized numerous times in recent years for that rant, his new comments helped to revive the ‘Clapton is a racist’ story. All of which led the Hall to ban him.

“We held an un-induction ceremony,” said Down. “We contacted Robbie Robertson, The Edge, of U2, and the surviving members of ZZ Top. We had them recite their induction speeches in reverse. A sort of annulment, if you will, to undo all three of Clapton’s inductions.”

“They still hate me after my racist tirade back in ‘76,” said Clapton at a press gathering.

“This is about your anti-vaccine stance,” a reporter told him. “It has nothing whatsoever to do with your alleged racist remarks.”

“But I named my guitars ‘Blackie’ and ‘Brownie’,” said a clearly distraught Clapton. “Doesn’t that prove I’m not a racist?”

“No.”

“What about all of the anti-racist songs I’ve written?”

“You didn’t write any anti-racist songs.”

“What about ‘After Midnight’ and ‘Cocaine’?” said Clapton.

“Those aren’t anti-racist songs,” said a reporter. “You didn’t write them either.”

“I didn’t?”

“No, it was J.J. Cale.”

“Okay, well, he’s black anyway.”

“Uh, no, Eric. Cale was white.”

“Was? You mean he converted back to being black?”

“No, I mean J.J. Cale is dead.”

“Oh.”

Not surprisingly, one of Clapton's anti-vax and racist allies is Texas Republican governor Greg Abbott. The governor, who suffers from multiple delusions, was photographed in September 2021 with the once-popular guitarist. It should be noted that Abbott’s anti-vax proclamations have been struck down in court.

“Eric is an inspiration to aspiring racists, anti-vaxxers, and guitar players everywhere,” said Abbott.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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