Abandoned Reality Show contestants found in New Forest

Funny story written by ExiledRoyal

Saturday, 8 August 2020

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'Little Known Semi-Celebrities Lost In The Forest'

It's the show that nobody remembers. Six years ago, ITV decided to try a summer version of 'I'm A Celebrity', traditionally shown in November.

The show was called 'Little Known Semi-Celebrities Lost In The Forest'.

The idea was to drop Z-listers in the middle of the New Forest with enough rice and pasta to last a week. These were people who had figured in a minor way in the public consciousness for a week or, two, and then disappeared from sight. You can now get famous, or at least, sort of famous, by creating a popular blog, YouTube channel, or Instagram account. These were the ones chosen, the detritus of celebrity life.

Promoting a waist trainer (Amber Rose), teeth-whitening kit (Vanderpump Rules’ Jax Taylor), Bella Thorne (17.3 million followers) claims she’s earning $65,000 per paid Instagram post and between $10,000 and $20,000 per paid Snapchat, and seventeen others.

The show bombed the first day. Less than forty people tuned in for day two, mostly relatives.

Yesterday, nearly six years to the day that the show opened, four people emerged from the New Forest, and found their way to Ringwood McDonalds. Amber Rose, Jax Taylor, Bella Thorne and another person who was unable to remember their own name, fell through the doors, dirty, unkempt and starving.

Bella Thorne told McDonalds employees that they had survived by eating their fellow contestants. They had also eaten mushrooms and squirrels.

ITV have admitted that they made a mistake with the concept of the show, and have put forward ideas that they think may be more popular:

Celebrity Chainsaw Massacre
Celebrity Blindfolded Archery
Splat! (Like 'Splash', but in a paddling pool)
I'm In Hospital, Get Me Out Of Here

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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