Ariana Grande's mother was a North Sea halibut, DNA test reveals.

Written by Johnny Shlep

Monday, 2 September 2019

image for Ariana Grande's mother was a North Sea halibut, DNA test reveals.

The world of pop was reeling last night after a leading genetic scientist revealed that American pop princess, Ariana Grande's mother was a halibut from the North Sea in an area just off the coast of Great Yarmouth.

Professor, Tobias Dell, 72, told newsmen: "My colleagues and I became interested in Ms Grande's genetics when we noticed that she was constantly pursing her lips in photographs, making her resemble a fish of some description.

"We managed to obtain a trace of her DNA from a wine glass and conducted tests which prove, without doubt, that her mother was a North Sea halibut.

"Her father's species has not yet been established, but judging by her gyrations when performing on stage we suspect that he may have been a small primate of some description, possibly a gibbon."

This revelation comes just two months after a scientific team from Oxford University established beyond doubt that pop icon, Justin Bieber's paternal grandfather was a member of a single-cell species of pondlife from the Cro-Magnon period.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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