TV guide 3 August

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Friday, 2 August 2019

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Studies show that most people watch television on their computer or phone, saving their main TV set for porn

4:00pm. Whiny Nerds Comedy. Laugh along with the laughter track at the constantly complaining nerds at Geek College.

4:30. Whiny Nerds Comedy.

5:00. Whiny Nerds Comedy.

5:30. Whiny Nerds Comedy.

6:00. Whiny Nerds Comedy. Repeat of the 4:00 episode.

6:30. Celebrities Do Blackface This week featuring Stacey Dooley.

7:00. Just A Quick Fag Alan Carr presents a documentary about the dangers of smoking.

7:50. Lard News The latest news from the world of lard.

8:00. You Lose Will anyone win the £3 trillion prize in the impossible quiz?

8:30. The Killingest War Drama set in the trenches of 1915. Geoff gets gassed. Herbert turns to homosexuality through boredom.

9:00. Film: The Fly (1958) A family picnic is disturbed by a persistent insect.

11:00. Film: Jurassic Park (1993) An elderly couple enjoy a stroll through the peaceful downtown park.

1:00am. Live Truck Cams Follow Dave as he races against the clock to drive all the way up the A1 to deliver a bag of dogs to a Korean takeaway in Doncaster.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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