Trump Giving Alaska Back To Russia

Written by K.C. Bell

Sunday, 16 June 2019

image for Trump Giving Alaska Back To Russia
"THAT GUY IS THE ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE!"

Trump Tweet News: This is a really GIGANTIC offer from another really super leader Vladimir Putin. He's giving me the 2020 election. Since he has the best hackers in the world, Vlady's giving me the 2020 election in return for Alaska. I won’t even have to spend a nickel on those phony baseball hats, or campaign adds…

Tweet Reply: You mean ads.

Tweet: Same thing. Anyway, Vlady said he would have his team of hackers flip the vote on election night, giving me the popular vote as WELL as the Electoral College!!! All I have to do is give him back the state of Alaska!

Hearing of this scheme, the White House Counsel’s office advised Trump that he could not exchange Alaska for four more years in the White House.

Trump erupted with a series of Tweets, his fingers hammering away: You lousy, low life, weak minded losers! Am I supposed to ignore a deal like this? Give me a brake. Besides, I’m not throwing away Alaska. I’m returning it to the real owner. If you claim otherwise, you’re dead wrong, and I’m write.

The Counsel’s office shot back with: To begin with, you mean break and not brake, and that you would be right and not write, but congratulations on spelling weak correctly. Nevertheless, (regardless of your spelling) presidential powers do not extend to the authority of giving away a state. It is not within your purview, and isn't an alternative possibility.

Tweeting out loud, Trump yelled that the White House Counsel’s office was fired. “I’ll just have Jared approved it, and Barr signs off on it. Mitch McConnell won’t let it come to a vote of censure in the Senate, so it’s a done deal. Hannity will praise my diplomatic skills, and any controversy will be labeled as Fake News.

Trump tweeted on: Alaska was always a non-state with just three electoral votes. The US only paid Russia $7.2 million for Alaska and Vlady promised me the same $7.2 million refund. Very generous of the little guy.

“Hay, that money can pay for my parade.”

You mean, Hey.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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