Written by King Kong

Friday, 17 August 2018

image for Cristiano Ronaldo And Juventus Are Dating
The happy couple photographed in Paris, France.

Cristiano Ronaldo and Juventus Germona, the Voodoo Princess of Brazil, "spent a full day together" yesterday, PERONI news reports, and photos of their union have just surfaced online.

The tarot card reader and Ronaldo shared a "friendly" breakfast at Epicure Cafe in Paris, according to PERONI.

Now, photographs have surfaced of the pair heading to a Paris park to see children playing following the secretive breakfast date, making this the first time the former couple have been photographed together since 2015.

"Juventus and Ronaldo have been going back and forth for a few months about their relationship," a source told the publication.

Friends say Cristiano hasn't been the same since dating the famous spiritualist. "She's keeping him on a diet of Chinese herbs marinaded in chicken blood as part of her witchcraft diet," says his mother.

Medical experts say the Chinese diet can lead to madness and wild hallucinations. It's being classified as a wasting disease in some parts of China.

Ronaldo claims dating Juventus is good for his mind and his sex drive.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Juventus

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