Written by SeanFallon

Saturday, 13 May 2017

Tim Allen stars in ABC'S Last Man Standing, a sitcom that has suddenly been cancelled despite consistently high ratings for six seasons.

Speculation has run rampant as to why ABC pulled the plug on its most popular current sitcom. The most common theory is that Tim Allen gives a likeable and intelligent voice to conservative thought, which is a huge threat to the liberal media's agenda to make Americans believe that no viewpoint other than the liberal media's own viewpoint could ever be decent, intelligent, loving, moral, or tolerable.

The actual reason for the cancellation, however, has nothing to do with Tim Allen or his character Mike Baxter's conservative views.

In the first season, actresses Alexandra Krosney, Molly Ephraim, and Kaitlyn Dever played likeable sisters Kristin, Mandy, and Eve Baxter, respectively.

The on screen chemistry of those three extremely talented actresses made them come across as believable sisters.

After the first season, however, while the sisterly chemistry between Mandy and Eve remained strong, the decision to fire Alexandra Krosney and replace her with Amanda Fuller in the role of Kristin totally killed the chemistry between Kristin and both her younger sisters.

Alexandra Krosney was fired, because her conscience forbade her to portray the left-wing extremist personality change that was given to Kristin Baxter.

When Alexandra was asked whether her refusal was based on religious reasons, she replied, "It is not merely about religion. As a woman, I am sick of being thought of as a naïve, easily manipulated, gullible puppet who will mindlessly spout out left-wing propaganda and stupidly think that it makes me a 'strong woman.'

"A truly strong woman can think for herself, and would therefore reject the emotionally manipulative left-wing deception of what it means to be a 'strong woman.'

"I love my character Kristin, and could not allow her to become a mindless zombie for the left."

Krosney's replacement, Amanda Fuller, however, had no problem playing the new and intolerable Kristin Baxter whose ideas are sometimes well shot down by Mike Baxter (Tim Allen), but are other times left to hang out there without the proper rebuke.

Amanda Fuller would soon become jealous of the close sisterly relationship between Molly Ephraim and Kaitlyn Dever, and started taking it out on them on the set, in subtle ways.

Molly Ephraim claimed, "Kaitlyn is like a real kid sister to me, but Amanda feels like a wicked step-sister. I miss my friend Alexandra."

Kaitlyn Dever shared those sentiments, and things soon got really ugly on the set.

Molly arranged for Alexandra to appear, and united with Kaitlyn, the three original Baxter sisters approached the producers and said, "We are like sisters. It is either all three of us back together on the show, or none of us."

When Amanda Fuller busted into the room, a 3 on 1 cat fight soon broke out, complete with the typical dirty name-calling and surrounding circle of piggish men yelling for the ripping off of clothes, which did NOT happen.

So, ABC cancelled its most popular show.

On the upside, rumor has it that the three original Baxter sisters are planning to make another music video together, with more of a rock feel to it than the controversial "Pie Rack" video from the first season.

When Tim Allen was asked for a comment about the cancellation, all he could say was, "It was so much easier raising three boys. Uhheh!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: ABC

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more