In the last throw to flog a dead corpse, an aloof newspaper has reported that Simon Cowell has hired a medium in order to get Michael Jackson on to his Saturday night warble a-thon.
Cowell has summoned famous medium, Hearty O'Flower to start discussions with the singer. A sightseer reported "I saw this odd chap in a rather brown trilby stroking the "Thriller" album in a PDSA charity shop, just off the Surbiton High Road.
"He was making burbling noise, then he started performing the moonwalk...It was quite an erotic sight".
When doorstepped by a rather nosy reporter, Cowell did admit "discussions were in the offing" and that he remained very hopeful that something could be agreed.
It is not clear in what format the visitation would happen. Some industry insiders suggested that he could come back at a ghost, and turf out Cheryl Xjfkfglhghf out of her throne, or perhaps a live exorcism...They added "Nothing has been agreed yet", although Michael has asked for dozens of Eggs for each appearance..we're working out the rather woolly detail"..