Celebrities are actually not famous at all

Funny story written by ExiledRoyal

Tuesday, 8 November 2011


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The BBC - Britain's Bogus Celebrities

It's something we believed we knew for years, celebrities are manufactured.

In her devastating expose of so-called 'Celebrity Culture', author Betty Zadick Head has demonstrated beyond doubt that the people that we deem famous are simply 'ordinary Joes picked by the media, artificially enhanced, and sold as celebrities'.

Her book 'Hughie Green was my Valet' catalogues hundreds of instances where publishers, columnists and producers have artificially manipulated ordinary people to become famous faces in order to sell column inches and screen time.

The aforementioned Hughie Green, best known for his 60's appearances on TV fronting 'Double Your Money' and 'Opportunity Knocks' had a regular job as a Valet and Butler for minor royalty, his image cleverly enhanced for TV.

Justin Bieber is, in fact, an 11 year old schoolgirl. Simon Cowell isn't human at all, a modern-day Max Headroom and Queen Elizabeth II earns a living as a lapdancer in Wigan.

Miss Zadick Head has spent nearly 20 years travelling the world, debunking the myth of Celebrity. "Anybody you think is famous," she told us, "is, in fact, just a nobody. No talent, no character, just a gaping void."

In the light of her revelations ITV are rebranding their Jungle show, 'I'm just a Twat, get me out of here!' Presenters Ant and Dec are dropped, revealed simply as two dole-scum from Sunderland, and replaced by Peter Andre and Katie Price, two nobodies with an Australian accent and big tits.

Her book is available in most Bargain Bookstores near you.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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