Fast-food royalty: Harry and Meghan conquer the golden arches

Funny story written by Jake de Fake

Friday, 12 May 2023

image for Fast-food royalty: Harry and Meghan conquer the golden arches
A genius with hugh aspirations and the bravery of a lion.

Proving the American Dream isn't dead, a husband and wife team have gone from flipping burgers to flipping the bird at the traditional notion of success, opening their 250th McDonald's location in sunny Southern California. Their burgeoning McEmpire spreads across the Golden State like ketchup on a Big Mac.

Harry and Meghan Windsor, rulers of this McKingdom, are not just living large - they're living supersized. Their annual revenue could make even Scrooge McDuck choke on his gold coins, raking in a McFlurry of cash to the tune of $675 million per year. That's enough to buy a Happy Meal for every man, woman, and child in California.

"It's all about the McMomentum," says Harry, with a McTwinkle in his eye. "We started out packing Happy Meals, and now we're packing our wallets." The fast-food royalty are known to keep employee enthusiasm high by occasionally stepping behind the counter, a practice they've dubbed 'McMotivation'.

The golden arches of their family enterprise span across California, providing McJobs for more than 3,675 employees. Their cousin, Beatrice, has climbed the greasy pole from floor worker to owner/operator of her own 47 McDonald's franchises, proving that there's no limit to what can be achieved with a little McElbow grease.

Meanwhile, Meghan has decided to take a break from the McNuggets and fries, forging a path in the competitive world of e-commerce. Her latest venture, 'Value Saving', is an audacious attempt to give Amazon a run for its money. Based out of Vancouver, Canada, and expanding into Vegas, this eco-friendly alternative offers a sustainable shopping experience - proving that you can, indeed, have your (apple) pie and eat it too.

"The sky isn't the limit," Meghan asserts, "I'd say it's more of a McLaunchpad. We're always on the lookout for the next big opportunity, preferably one that doesn't involve special sauce."

In a move that could only be described as McGenerous, Harry donates over a billion pounds annually to his father's Royal Charity fund in Britain. The fund is responsible for employing millions of Brits who work for the crown's export and exchange corporation, arguably the biggest British export since the Beatles.

With the estimated value of the Royal Charity fund at a whopping 25 trillion pounds, it's clear that the Windsors are not just flipping burgers - they're flipping the script on success. The world eagerly awaits the next McMove from this dynamic duo. In the meantime, we'll have fries with that.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more