Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Mr. Lizard.
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Texas Discusses Secession
The 'Great Fence of Texas' now a certainty.
written by Mr. Lizard, 22 April 2009
GM: Bankruptcy Likely
General Motors today announced the initiation of contingency plans as CEOs carefully packed their golden parachutes.
written by Mr. Lizard, 18 April 2009
Adam Sandler Stars In 3-D Movie
His character still comes off as two dimensional.
written by Mr. Lizard, 21 March 2009
Sci-Fi Channel To Change Name
Introducing: The Straight-To-Video channel!
written by Mr. Lizard, 19 March 2009
Rihanna Back With Chris Brown
"I couldn't find anybody who touched me like he did; I missed the feel of his warm knuckle on my eye socket."
written by Mr. Lizard, 14 March 2009
Punishment Fits the Crime
In an eleventh hour ruling the judge in the Bernie Madoff case decreed that Madoff be stripped of all I.D. & money,& left in an alley with a sign that reads "Will drop pants and bend over for food."
written by Mr. Lizard, 12 March 2009
Bernie Madoff could get 150 years
He could be out in 100 with good behavior...even earlier with death.
written by Mr. Lizard, 11 March 2009
Young Girl Has 6 Organs Plus Tumor Removed
After much brow-knitting and head-scratching,everything but a kidney was returned.
written by Mr. Lizard, 11 March 2009
Palin Already Planning 2012 Presidential Run
This should give her time to do some research and find out what a "Bush Protocol" is.
written by Mr. Lizard, 10 March 2009
Advisers Want Obama to Blame Bush by Name
...and stop refering to him as "that one".
written by Mr. Lizard, 10 March 2009
Orwell, Ya Missed It!
Cell phone cameras, YouTube and shallow morals. Sweet jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick. Everybody - we are our own Big Brother!
written by Mr. Lizard, 08 March 2009
...And A Cheesecloth Umbrella!
An amendment to the bank bail-outs requires that Golden Parachutes be replaced by Golden Showers.
written by Mr. Lizard, 06 March 2009
Ba-rute!
Vance has changed; he used to open cans of whup-ass, now he pours cordials of face-slap.
written by Mr. Lizard, 06 March 2009
Presto!
Little Timmy decided to become a magician when he learned his big sister was making $100 a trick.
written by Mr. Lizard, 06 March 2009
Palestinian/Israeli Peace Talks Break Down
Netanyahu caught twittering.
written by Mr. Lizard, 03 March 2009
Why, He's So Dumb...
He thinks post nasal drip is a breakfast cereal!
written by Mr. Lizard, 27 February 2009
Mr. Lizard's Political Mad-Libs
When warned of an impending recession by (name of recent former vice-president),(name of recent former president) is reported to have asked, "If the weather is nice can we have it outside?"
written by Mr. Lizard, 25 February 2009
Obama's Message to Bush
"Pick up! I know you're there you shifty-eyed little gnome! Answer the phone Goddamnit!"
written by Mr. Lizard, 25 February 2009
Octomom Offered 1 Million to Do Porno
...And that's just the birth video.
written by Mr. Lizard, 25 February 2009
W works in hardware store
Wingnut joke waits anxiously on sidelines.
written by Mr. Lizard, 23 February 2009
Palin cites media malpractice
"They were very mean." Pouts former candidate, "Especially that SNL news network,and reporter Jon Stewart."
written by Mr. Lizard, 23 February 2009
Government focuses on banks' "Bad-Assets"
America enjoys a collective giggle.
written by Mr. Lizard, 22 February 2009
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