Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Exislanda.
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Innocent XIV?
Risk Sanatorium is seriously miffed not to have been made a Cardinal by El Papa.
"I have the credentials - I'm really Italian."
He had aspired to run for Pope himself after 8 years as President.
written by Exislanda, 20 February 2012
The other 50%?
Herman Cain claims that 50% of Americans are stupid!
Check your Math, Herman; what about the GOP members who couldn't understand the question.
written by Exislanda, 19 February 2012
Houston Funeral a Mitm Romney plot
Back home in Georgia, Gingnotsorich compains CNN have diverted their attention from the GOP primary race, just as he was hoping to get back on track.
"My ambitions have been frustrated!" he claimed.
written by Exislanda, 18 February 2012
Non-Prescription Reporting Abuse
Not content with waiting for official cause of Whitney's death, CNN are dealing with the possibilities with overkill.
Why don't you deal with more important things in the News, CNN?
Syria perhaps?
written by Exislanda, 14 February 2012
Estha the Elephant
It has just be revealed that the books that fill Newt Gingnotsorich house are unsold copies of his wife Calista's new book.
written by Exislanda, 11 February 2012
CperPAC
Mrs Gingnotsorich introduced her husband speech at CperPAC today. She admitted that her house is full of book.
She failed to say that Newt doesn't read!
Oh Newt - a little advice. Buy your wife a decent wig!
written by Exislanda, 11 February 2012
That will be Two Bristols, please
Bristol are launching their own currency, with the backing of the council and a credit union.
The "Bristol Pound" will be printed in notes, and also traded electronically.
written by Exislanda, 06 February 2012
Italy sues Germany for losing WW2
"Hitler failed to keep his promise to give us North America when he ruled the world. All we have is New York and Las Vegas." said attorney preparing class action on behalf of every citizan.
written by Exislanda, 03 February 2012
CNN declares war on Eyeran.
Unrelated statements from us, Isreal? and Eyeran have been cut & pasted.
According to CNN, Isreal? will hit Eyeran next week and Eyeran will quickly retaliate against us!
Solidad's job is secure!
written by Exislanda, 03 February 2012
If I ruled the World - Romney and Facebook?
MITM is reportedly buying out Facebook shares in his bid to be President of the World.
With over 600,000,000 members (all prone to gaffs & contextural errors in their posts) is he on a winner?
written by Exislanda, 03 February 2012
#4 wife at Gazebo on the Lake?
Inside source leak, Las Vegas: Newt to divorce 3rd wife, to marry Mrs Gingnotsorich 4!
He was knocked out by Floridian Mitty Romney last week.
Maids of Honor to be Paula Ronn and Ricaria Sanatorium.
written by Exislanda, 02 February 2012
Vote:
Who do you admire most of the GOP candidates?
Or do you prefer the American public who refuse to vote for these clowns.
written by Exislanda, 02 February 2012
Sharing.......
If every person on Facebook were to get a share, it would be like MITM Romney giving 25c to all the poor in USA. Not enough to go round!
written by Exislanda, 02 February 2012
2 legs good, 4 legs bad
President Felipe Calderón has dismissed concerns for his health. "Yes, I have felt a little feverish," he said at press conference, "My snout has been filling up and oink, oink, oink, oink, oink".
written by Exislanda, 02 May 2009
Michelle's Map Tattoo
Mrs Obama confirmed she has a World map tattoo on her backside. "Barack uses it to bum up his geography, he likes the area where it says 'Here there be monsters'! Bo Wo Wo did not bite off Australia."
written by Exislanda, 17 April 2009
Greenpeace vindicated
Japanese whale research fleet admitted it was Somali Pirates and not Greenpeace that were responsible for this years poor returns.
written by Exislanda, 16 April 2009
"Wild in the Country"
Anabella Lwin to re-release Bow-Wow-Wow's 1st hit single to coincide with 1st Dog, Bo Wo Wo Obama's 1st trip to Camp David.
written by Exislanda, 16 April 2009
Bailout for Alpo: TARP funds save petfoods
On his first announcement from the Dog House, Bo Wo Wo Obama (America's first black '1st Dog'), made $1T available to ailing Big 3 pet food manufacturers.
written by Exislanda, 16 April 2009
The reality of super celeb
Jade Goody is unavailable for comment.
written by Exislanda, 28 March 2009
Vote for Goat!
Vindicated goat, Mbillia Capra Aegagrus Hircus, has declaired himself a candidate in the next Nigerian Presidential Election, representing the Nigerian 419 Scam Party.
written by Exislanda, 28 January 2009
Chunnel Security Tightened
In a bid to halt the surge of Illegal Immigration from the United Kingdom to "Anywhere else but here", French lorry drivers have blockaded the East end of the Channel tunnel. Rosbeef, Gardez dehors!
written by Exislanda, 26 January 2009
Obama 100
Barack Omama took time off yesterday to pen his 1st Presidential Autobiography "The First 100 Hours" - To be rush released to beat George W Bush's Tome "Tonguetwisters Of Office" to the bookstores.
written by Exislanda, 26 January 2009
INAUGURATION: Flash news
Gravity of the Moment increased to prevent Inauguration gawkers from floating off into space.
written by Exislanda, 19 January 2009
Canada Goose Attack:
Tension increases on US - Canada border as Canada Goose missile brings down plane in Hudson River.
written by Exislanda, 19 January 2009
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