Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Aspartame Boy.
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@FBI arrests itself
In a bizarre action today, @FBI agents everywhere handcuffed themselves to each other in a move to avoid felony take-downs.
written by Aspartame Boy, 30 January 2018
Berserk AI program in spasmodic thrashing
.. keeps selecting Aspartame Boy as the Featured Writer.
written by Aspartame Boy, 30 October 2017
Scientists say Universe shoudn't exist
The Universe responds: Scientists shouldn't exist.
written by Aspartame Boy, 27 October 2017
Harvey Weinstein ejaculated from Motion Picture Academy
In an emergency meeting of the Motion Pictue Academy, reviewing the sexual antics of Weinstein until, in a crescendo of passion, they ejaculated him all the way to New Jersey, land of the creeps.
written by Aspartame Boy, 15 October 2017
Al Gore warns of a pending eclipse of the Sun by the Eatth
At Midnight
written by Aspartame Boy, 29 September 2017
Goat gives birth to Arab after THIS happens
Due to the flagrantly graphic beastiality photographed in this story, it is suggested you read the entire article at once, unless of course it is censored in your country!
written by Aspartame Boy, 28 July 2017
Saudis threaten to sell Hillary
Hillary owes the Arabs billions since she can't play for the pay.
They want to sell her to ISIS as a white slave but will first invest in massive plastic surgery. Wait, they withdrew the offer.
written by Aspartame Boy, 25 December 2016
Lot lot of AK47's in Detroit
Detroit is about to be recognized as a country by the UN, they have killed so many people.
written by Aspartame Boy, 06 December 2012
Economy boomin in UK
Writers at TheSpoof.com are paying people to read and rate their pissives five stars!
written by Aspartame Boy, 06 December 2012
Germany taking on the world financial system alone
The guys in white hats report the world is ending this week.
written by Aspartame Boy, 16 August 2012
Obama told he was born in a police car
Sherrif Joe today admitted he was kidding about Obama. "I actually devlivered the little squirt myself in my police car. Mom called 911; we got there nearly in time. The little bastard peed on me."
written by Aspartame Boy, 19 July 2012
Banks to bulldoze Florida to expand Disney
Now that the people have no money left, banks will be bulldozing house to expand playgrounds for the rich. See hour lead story, "How to make your hose 'dozer ready"
written by Aspartame Boy, 10 July 2012
Pope and his big house sold to bail out Italy
The Vatican was sold as reported earlier. Now the Pope is having second thoughts.
written by Aspartame Boy, 25 December 2011
India Inhales Death
INDIA - In the wake of many deaths by methanol in India, the resurgence of aspartame inhalation is rampant.
According to our source, staff doctor, Dr. Whine Galena..
written by Aspartame Boy, 17 December 2011
Germany targets dead beats with V2 Vockets
Pay up or else!
written by Aspartame Boy, 09 December 2011
Headlines from Bilderberg Group
Humans are to animals what weeds are to plants.
written by Aspartame Boy, 05 June 2011
IMF demands Greece pay tribute
"We want all your crack, booze, and especially all your good-looking women. We want them on the dock, dressed in maid uniforms and ready to ship out by noon.", according to the head.
written by Aspartame Boy, 23 May 2011
Worlds top rapist arrested for vagrancy
vagrancy! After posting three trillion dollars bail! Nobody want's him in their neighborhood!
written by Aspartame Boy, 20 May 2011
Court rules medical marijuana using Arizona surgeon can wear guns
in the operating room, just in case the patient wakes up and tries to steal his stash
written by Aspartame Boy, 20 May 2011
World's top rapist pledges to devote his life
to finding the 'real' rapist if found not guilty. Don't worry. He already has booked tee times for the first month.
written by Aspartame Boy, 20 May 2011
World's number one rapist seduces judge
Convinces her to let him go after tells her "Quel beau c...l !" That plus a million dollars, a five hundred pound ball and chain: as long as he goes back to his cell.
written by Aspartame Boy, 19 May 2011
Hollywood is producing a new movie
Pigs on a plane. The movie will be produced by the IMF.
written by Aspartame Boy, 19 May 2011
Latests rape defense from top flight lawyers
I have an alibi; and anyway, she asked for it. She forced me to do it, but I was having lunch with my sister at the time and wasn't even there. Plus I have immunity. Also I thought she was included.
written by Aspartame Boy, 18 May 2011
Showing page 1 (of 15 pages)
