Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Judge Retort.

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30,000 Felons Illegally Registered to Vote in Florida

Among other questionable registered voters in Florida are 30,000 gators and 30 cartoon characters walking around Disneyworld, all registered Democrats - except Donald Duck.

written by Judge Retort, 13 October 2008

Cleric: Replace capitalism with Islamic financial system

Basically, he explained that if there is a problem with a bank, you don't bail it out, you take it out - by flying a jetliner into it. Note: Sharia law prescribes principal bank owners be aboard.

written by Judge Retort, 12 October 2008

CBS Reporter Shock: Obama Airplaine Smells Bad

Recognition for media gaff of the week this time goes to Dean Reynolds for this gem: "Somehow the McCain folks manage to keep their charter clean, even where the press is seated."

Dean, shower!

written by Judge Retort, 10 October 2008

Dem: Only terrorist attack could preclude Obama landslide

And the Republican rebuttal: Only Ralph Nader dropping dead can preclude McCain landslide!

written by Judge Retort, 10 October 2008

Woody Allen: 'It would be disgrace and humiliation if Obama does not win'...

…the heart of every 17-year-old girl in the country, of which, as everybody knows, I have some expertise-if not as much success as I'd like...oy

written by Judge Retort, 08 October 2008

35% of Blackberry users would choose device over spouse

However, Palm, Inc. quickly pointed out that long before the popular Blackberry, many preferred their Palm to their spouse -- with spouse giving husband his first Blackberry - usually, two of them.

written by Judge Retort, 07 October 2008

Clay is gay - comes out of the closet

Changing his name 'Clay' to 'Play-Doh'. Note to friends in Hawaii: Don't worry, he'll still go by 'Poi George.' And in San Francisco, don't get so upset! He'll stay 'Clay' for old time's sake.

written by Judge Retort, 07 October 2008

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