Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Philbert of Macadamia.Show all snippets.
Health care experts have advised the government that ObamaCare administrators will soon have to select any two out of the following three parameters: Reduced Costs; Improved Care; Cover More People!
Thieves in the Night
Stealing from your neighbor to give money to others gets you jail time. Yet, King Obama I appropriates taxpayer money to bailout losers and to make bad investments in crony green energy companies!
Empty Suit Awards
The 2012 Democratic leadership empty suit awards go to King Obama I, Rep. Pelosi (D-CA) (empty dress), House Minority Whip Hoyer (D-MD) and Senate Majority Leader Reid (D-NV)!
I Want Your Money
Pres. Obama & eastern state Democratic governors are using words like future investment, more revenue, close tax loopholes & jobs budget. Look out middleclass you are about to lose all tax deductions!
The Man that Wasn't There
SecDev Panetta told Senators Pres. Obama was absent the night US Amb. Stevens & three other Americans were killed in Benghazi LY. Then how could Obama give orders to the generals during the attack?
Republicans have asked the Colorado Dept. of Public Health & the Environment for aerial spraying to combat Democratic left liberalitis. The disease is infecting the state as more easterners move here!
Now Hear This
CAPT: There was a malfunctioning torpedo reported during the ships training exercise. EXEC: Not a problem Torpedowoman First Class Mary McGersky picked up the 520 lb weapon & threw it over the side!
Besides It's Unconstitutional
State laws holding gun manufacturers responsible for gun deaths would be like holding car manufactures responsible for traffic accident deaths. Also against federal law!
No Large Screen TV Either
LONE RANGER: People complain about how bad things are today. TONTO: Family's lived through the 1930's Great Depression on stale bread, rotten fruits/vegetables & used newspapers for toilet paper.
Tax Increases or Increased Revenue?
DEMOCRATS: You spend money on foolish things so we tax more & decide what to spend your money on. REPUBLICANS: You can spend money on foolish things, thus more foolish thing production & more revenue!
Impeach King Obama I
There are specific Constitutional limits predicated on King George III, that limit what a president can do to US citizens to avoid the slippery slope from bad guy terrorists to an enemy's list!
President Obama is not President Lincoln
Sen. Obama railed at Pres. GW Bush using unconstitutional authority now being asserted by the White House. WH cites Pres. Lincoln's authoritarianism, but Mr. Lincoln had a civil war on his hands!
Unconstitutional Presidential Power
King Obama I wants sole authority to be judge, jury and executioner using unmanned drones against terror operatives (bad guys), who are US citizens, without a formal Congressional declaration of war!
Warming Up to Fracking
Democratic state governors, e.g. California are discovering that natural gas Fracking means increased revenues (taxes), allowing more spending and are rebuffing environmentalists as worry warts!
King Obama I has violated US citizens 1st (freedom of religion), 2nd (right to bear arms), 4th, 5th, 6th (illegal search/seizure, due process, jury trial, killing) Amendments to the US Constitution!
More About Impeachable Offenses
King Obama I gives amnesty to illegal immigrants, ignores federal laws doesn't like, violates US citizen's rights home & abroad (no declared war), unconstitutional recess appointments & has no budget!
Tectonic Plate Warning I
Climate Change Guru Al Gore's defection has liberal professors frantic for new taxpayer funds. They asked Pres. Obama for $1 billion a yr to study Tectonic Plates smashing into each other in 500 yrs!
Tectonic Plate Warning II
UN officials at their NYC headquarters claim they can see the Alps moving. Iran's Pres. Ahmadinejad to head a 500 man (no women) committee that has already blamed Israel for Tectonic Plate movement!
Enforce Littering Laws
A Maryland city to institute flogging of slobs caught throwing plastic bags on the ground, as a five cent fee for supermarket bags is just another useless tax on residents.
Lack of Common Sense
The Obama administration still has doubts Iran wants to build a nuclear bomb. Then why is Iran spending far in excess of funds needed for peaceful nuclear purposes & putting up with world sanctions?
The Spoiler in Chief
A bipartisan group of Senators came up with an outline for immigration reform legislation that considers key issues. King Obama I is upset that the plan doesn't cover LGBT people/couples!
President Obama Still Can't Add
LONE RANGER: King Obama I wants more revenue from people earning over $450,000 to reduce the budget deficit. TONTO: He overspends by $1 trillion, but anticipates gaining another $100 billion!
President Obama's ATM
Willie Sutton said "I rob banks because that's where the money is." King Obama I will soon run out of rich people and start taxing the middle class to pursue his wealth redistribution agenda.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 February 2013
More Wealth Redistribution
LONE RANGER: King Obama I wants more revenue from the rich to get the economy moving. TONTO: He who speaks with forked tongue should get a real day job to earn more revenue!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 05 February 2013