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Slick Willie To The Rescue

Ex-president Bill Clinton greased the way for the release of 2 female American journalists held by North Korea. When they discovered how "hard" it was going to be flying back, both begged to return.

written by TomFoolery, 05 August 2009

New Reality Show Creates New "Out"Laws

Swapping Mother-in-Laws, in its pilot run, has resulted in dual divorce litigation, giving the term "family feud" a whole new meaning.

written by TomFoolery, 07 April 2009

Mandate from President Obama Imminent

Senator Barney Frank is all atwitter!!

written by TomFoolery, 26 March 2009

Girl, 5, With Half a Brain Survives, Amazes Family

Oh, YEAH? The United States of America has been run for 8 years by a president with half a brain and, what, THAT'S no big deal?!

written by TomFoolery, 07 October 2008

Presidential Pundits Pander Plethora of Political Puns

Republicans attest, "An Obama nation would be an abomination and we should not be Biden our time." Democrats describe McCain as "insane in the membrane" and warn "we would be failin' with Palin."

written by TomFoolery, 07 October 2008

Sling it! Sling it! GOOD!!!

Goodyear and B.F. Goodrich are scrambling to be the first to market official 2008 campaign mud flaps.

written by TomFoolery, 06 October 2008

New McCain Anti-Obama Ad

Off-camera announcer suggests: "Perhaps Obama's pro-choice parents made the WRONG CHOICE!"

written by TomFoolery, 06 October 2008

Gary Glitter to Entertain Abroad

...since preadolescents are unavailable at the moment.

written by TomFoolery, 21 August 2008

New McCain Anti-Obama Ad

Off-camera announcer suggests: "Perhaps Obama's pro-choice parents made the WRONG CHOICE!"

written by TomFoolery, 21 August 2008

Panic in Obama Camp

He stops to think, but finds he just can't start up again!

written by TomFoolery, 21 August 2008

Modern Miracle: Medicine, Meteorology Merge

Medical doctors and climate experts have joined forces and plan to air-drop thousands of antidepressants into the core of Tropical Storm Fay in hopes of bringing her disturbing nature under control.

written by TomFoolery, 19 August 2008

2008 Vice Presidential Running Mates Announced

World shocked as presidential candidates pick each other. Planners scurry to combine conventions. Voters no much worse off than before. America, as always...doomed.

written by TomFoolery, 19 August 2008

Iran Supreme Leader: Bush Behaves Like 'Mentally Ill'

Now, THAT'S definitely a case of the pot calling the kettle black!

written by TomFoolery, 03 June 2008

Democrat Presidential Nomination Hypothermia

Never-Say-Die non-black, non-male, non-conformist Hillary Clinton's chances may be starting to improve as word has just been received from the Earth science community that Hell has started to freeze over.

written by TomFoolery, 02 June 2008

Hillary Survival Strategy Has Nabisco Worried

The She-Clinton will adopt the "Reverse Oreo Effect" to lure black fence-sitters to her camp, claiming she's really black on the inside and white on the outside.

written by TomFoolery, 13 February 2008

Democrat Candidate Dennis Kucinich Drops Out...

...world dictators in emergency session to plot next move in effort to steal the United States. American public remain largely oblivious.

written by TomFoolery, 27 January 2008

New Report Explains Rampant Teacher-Student Sex Epidemic

The finding indicates that the rise in "extra-curricular" activities is the result of teachers getting smarter and students getting dumber.

written by TomFoolery, 27 January 2008

World Church Leaders Agree on 'Miracle' Sheep Circle

The circle created by 200 sheep in a British pasture was unanimously attributed to "Ovine Intervention."

written by TomFoolery, 27 January 2008

Hillary Clinton SC Primary Loss to Obama Blamed on Heath Ledger

Bill Clinton told anyone who would listen yesterday that the devastating political defeat was all Heath Ledger´s fault. "If the clown hadn´t croaked, people would have been voting for Hil' instead of watching ET!"

written by TomFoolery, 27 January 2008

Rep. Dennis Kucinich Acknowledges Sighting UFO

Sighting, hell, he was driving it!

written by TomFoolery, 31 October 2007

Forty Men Arrested for Having Sex in Tennessee Public Parks

All 40 furtively inserted a guilty plea, prematurely withdrew, then, ala Larry Craig, shamelessly went into terminal denial. Numerous pairs of tap shoes recovered will soon be available for purchase on eBay.

written by TomFoolery, 03 October 2007

John Kerry Stunned By Taser Incident

Guess he shouldn't have gotten in the officers' way!

written by TomFoolery, 19 September 2007

Bidding for Mummified Walrus Penis Bone, 4 Feet Long, Starts at $16,000

Bidding on a 4-foot-deep petrified walrus vagina expected soon.

written by TomFoolery, 27 August 2007

Boy Suspended for Drawing a Gun in School

When asked the reason for the suspension, school officials drew a blank.

written by TomFoolery, 23 August 2007


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