Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Ana Sian.Show all snippets.
What is a cat hole?
An asshole cat.
written by Ana Sian, 07 June 2022
Will Smith’s New Catchphrase for 2024
Democrats want to use an amended version of Will Smith's wacky catchphrase for their next campaign, for when Trump weasels back towards Washington.
“Keep your Trump out my America!”
Will Smith on the Pox
After slapping a monkey (no pun ... fuck it, pun intended), Will Smith said, "Keep your monkey pox out m'mouth!"
Will Smith to JK Rowling
Will Smith will soon be bitch-slapping J.K. Rowling, telling her, “Keep your genitals out my mouth!”
Will has a new catchphrase, so he has to use it as much as possible to catch on.
Will Smith Heading to Ukraine
Will Smith will soon be heading to Ukraine to bitch-slap Russian soldiers, telling them, “Keep your guns out Ukraine’s mouth!”
Good luck, Mr. Smith – you da man!
Will Smith on abortion
Will Smith on abortion: “Keep your fetus out my mouth!”
Taiwan has contacted Stephen King ...
Asking if he can put a missile-proof dome over their country.
If the nations of Scandinavia land on Mars ...
The first thing they’d build would be a gorgeous palace for all their gorgeous people. And I’ll be first in line for a ticket.
If Israel lands on Mars ...
The first thing they would build is a house for themselves, then they'd bulldoze the Palestinian house already there while blaming Palestinians for getting themselves bulldozed.
If Saudi Arabia lands on Mars ...
The first thing they would build would be an embassy where they can kill journalists.
If North Korea lands on Mars ...
The first thing they would build would be a statue to whichever dictator was ‘eternal’ at that moment.
If Canada lands on Mars ...
They first thing they would build would be a hockey rink surrounded by maple trees chugging out the syrup.
If France lands on Mars ...
The first thing they would build would be a bordello where they could make sweet sweet love to anything that moved.
If Britain lands on Mars ...
The first thing they would build would be a pub. Rightly so. Cheers!
If Russia lands on Mars ...
The first thing they would build would be a cruise missile that can hit anywhere on the planet within minutes, even if it means blowing themselves up as well.
If America lands on Mars ...
The first thing they would build would be a gun shop, then act surprised when one of them goes on a mass shooting.
If China lands on Mars ...
The first thing they would build would be a wall to imprison themselves, plus Tibet, Taiwan, the Uyghur people, and anyone else they 'claim' as their own.
Marjorie Taylor Greene is so dumb ...
She can’t recall.
Candace Owens is so dumb ...
She thinks Marjorie Taylor Greene is green.
Candace Owens is so dumb ... PART 2
She thinks George Washington was the 41st and 43rd Presidents of the U.S.A.
Candace Owens is so dumb ... Part 1
She thinks Machiavelli is a type of Italian sports car
Amber Heard is On Her Way to the Oscars!
Amber Heard has already been nominated for an Oscar in a new category made just for her: Best Eye Roll in a Courtroom Drama.
Matt Gaetz After Retirement from Politics
Matt Gaetz has announced his retirement from politics to rent out his forehead to show movies on at kid’s parties.
Ollie North Is Pissed
Oliver North Called Marjorie Taylor Greene to say, “Hey, you stole that ‘I don’t recall’ thing from me! That’s my bit!”
Of course, Marge replied, “I don’t recall.”