Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Joel Kaye.

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Pulling the acrylic over your eyes

A driver charged with dangerous driving said she couldn't 'pull over' because it would have been dangerous to change in the fast lane when she was actually knitting an acrylic mixture cardigan.

written by Joel Kaye, 21 April 2021

Unidentified Object in Bagging Area

A despairing supermarket checkout assistant threw herself off a shopping trolley earlier today. "She must have mistaken Tesco for 'Tosca'" a passing opera-lover remarked.

written by Joel Kaye, 29 December 2020

Santa delayed by regulations

Some Christmas presents will be delayed this year because of regulatory hold ups at Santa's. A new lady elf is checking safe loading before releasing the sleigh. She is Elf Ann Seiphtee.

written by Joel Kaye, 23 December 2020

Don't Pick It

Some consultants are refusing to join the medical specialists' strike, and will go into work. But skin specialist Dermot O'Logy says: "We know how to deal with scabs."

written by Joel Kaye, 21 November 2020

What a racket!

Ex-tennis champ John McEnroe is in bad odor with neighbors for the noises coming out of his house since taking up astronomy, as he shouts, on finding the wrong star: "You cannot be Sirius!"

written by Joel Kaye, 14 November 2020

Pirates Exploit Covid

Not only are scammers trying to take advantage of the Covid-19 pandemic, pirates are now taking over. At the weekend, even the Prime Minister and advisors all quoted Arrr! numbers.

written by Joel Kaye, 02 November 2020

Vanishing Vicars: Police Called

As speculation mounts about vanishing vicars, the police are investigating. Inspector Whitty, Police Unsolved Nonsense Squad, said, "We are treating this as a missing parsons case."

written by Joel Kaye, 09 August 2020

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