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Showing breaking news satire snippets written by D. L. Hawkinson.

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Dead Man Walking

A woman greeted a neighbor, covered in dirt. "You must be working hard in your garden," she said. She later read his obituary. He'd been dead for 5 days. She wondered if she could still buy flowers.

written by D. L. Hawkinson, 19 December 2017
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When Dreaming is not Dreaming or when it Is?

After falling asleep watching TV, a man woke up to find out he was dreaming that he had awoken from watching the news. There was nothing memorable about the news. He may have slept through it--or not.

written by D. L. Hawkinson, 06 October 2017
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Forgotten Keys

47 years ago, at 7:45 a.m., Ed Terwilliger stopped on his way to his car, thinking he'd forgotten his keys. He felt his front pocket--reassured he had them--and left for work in his neighbor's car.

written by D. L. Hawkinson, 18 September 2017
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Man Apologizes while Running Marathon

Runner Bart Snard apologized to other runners, who collapsed on the track. "I ate Beef-a-Reeno; it fermented or something." Said one runner: "I'm never running again. I think I have lung damage."

written by D. L. Hawkinson, 15 September 2017


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