Showing breaking news satire snippets written by D. L. Hawkinson.

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Dead Man Walking

A woman greeted a neighbor, covered in dirt. "You must be working hard in your garden," she said. She later read his obituary. He'd been dead for 5 days. She wondered if she could still buy flowers.

written by D. L. Hawkinson, 19 December 2017

When Dreaming is not Dreaming or when it Is?

After falling asleep watching TV, a man woke up to find out he was dreaming that he had awoken from watching the news. There was nothing memorable about the news. He may have slept through it--or not.

written by D. L. Hawkinson, 06 October 2017

Forgotten Keys

47 years ago, at 7:45 a.m., Ed Terwilliger stopped on his way to his car, thinking he'd forgotten his keys. He felt his front pocket--reassured he had them--and left for work in his neighbor's car.

written by D. L. Hawkinson, 18 September 2017

Man Apologizes while Running Marathon

Runner Bart Snard apologized to other runners, who collapsed on the track. "I ate Beef-a-Reeno; it fermented or something." Said one runner: "I'm never running again. I think I have lung damage."

written by D. L. Hawkinson, 15 September 2017

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