Showing breaking news satire snippets written by XRhonda Speaks.
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Zombies for Hillary Face Off Against GOP Invasion of the Body Slammers
The two diseases, rarely seen in modern times, are spreading due to low vaccination rates as the ability of US citizens to think critically has declined.
written by XRhonda Speaks, 27 June 2017
Trump Found Asleep at Wheel of Presidency
After a long overseas trip he needed a rest...
written by XRhonda Speaks, 30 May 2017
Chris Christie Eats Five Guys
As the "Chickengate" scandal from the 2016 election grows, the New Jersey governor claims he's never even heard of KFC.
written by XRhonda Speaks, 27 May 2017
Pink Loses Suit Against Manufacturer of "Lick Pink" Gear
"You can't complain about a parody that associates your brand with a sexual act if your brand is already named 'Like Pink,'" said the judge in the case.
written by XRhonda Speaks, 22 May 2017
Human Ken Trashes Human Barbie
"She's all fake implants and extensions," said Human Ken as he received steroid and Botox injections.
written by XRhonda Speaks, 09 May 2017
President Trump Has an Enlarged Heart
The president accidentally told the truth when he said he has a big heart for Dreamers: it seems Trump is suffering from cardiomegaly, an enlarged heart brought on by his poor health.
written by XRhonda Speaks, 04 May 2017
Congressman Chaffetz Has Foot Removed From Mouth
Still in a cast after the historic surgery, the head of the house oversight committee hopes to get back to the investigation of Hillary Clinton's role in the Russian hacking of the 2016 election.
written by XRhonda Speaks, 02 May 2017
New United Airlines Slogans
"If seating is tight, there's gonna be a fight!" "Not enough seating, get ready for a beating!" "If you resist, you'll meet a fist!" "Don't comply, get a black eye!"
written by XRhonda Speaks, 11 April 2017
Barry Manilow: Gay Marriage Was For My Fans
After being outed as straight by his lover, porn actress Lanna Paloma, Manilow has admitted his marriage to his manager Garry Kief was a sham to dupe his fans.
written by XRhonda Speaks, 10 April 2017
President Bills Syrian Children For US Airstrikes
The Tweeter in chief explained: "We're not going to let these kids freeload and take advantage of our generosity anymore!"
written by XRhonda Speaks, 08 April 2017
Obama Joins Jedi Council
Barrack Obama is only the second African-American to be knighted by the Jedi Council after Samuel Jackson.
written by XRhonda Speaks, 01 April 2017
Microwave Takes Selfie!
Owner, worried about NSA surveillance, cooks with fire.
written by XRhonda Speaks, 31 March 2017
"After Impeachment, I'll Just Run A Car Lot." Says President Trump
"A nice quiet used car lot in New Jersey," Trump wistfully said, then he added "who knew this presidency thing was so complicated?"
written by XRhonda Speaks, 26 March 2017
Market Flooded After Woody Harrelson Quits Smoking Pot
The sudden surge in supply has put growers in a bind as demand is cut in half and prices plunge.
written by XRhonda Speaks, 21 March 2017
Kellyanne Conway Applys To Be Spoof Writer
When asked about her qualifications she said, "I don't need any evidence, I have alternative facts..."
written by XRhonda Speaks, 13 March 2017
President Accidentally Fires Himself
"It was an accident," says former President Trump after firing a record 736 people in one day--"but I'm ready to go back to reality TV and fleecing investors, it's much easier."
written by XRhonda Speaks, 12 March 2017
Jilted Chris Christie Caught Trying To Sneak In To White House
The Secret Service searched Christie's backpack and found a picnic lunch, a bottle of wine and some massage oil. read more...
written by XRhonda Speaks, 12 March 2017
President Trump Does Press Conference After Doubling Up On Medication
White House aides say Trump was extremely agitated before taking two doses of Adderall and calming down somewhat
written by XRhonda Speaks, 16 February 2017
Sean Spicer Turned Down For Anger Management Therapy
It turns out Spicer is overqualified.
written by XRhonda Speaks, 10 February 2017
Sex Lives Matter
A new movement that believes there would be a lot less killings and bad juju in the world if everyone just got laid more.
written by XRhonda Speaks, 01 February 2017
President Trump Backtracks On Waterboarding
"I thought it was just a sport and that the Muslims had a phobia about surfing."
written by XRhonda Speaks, 22 January 2017
Melania Trump Announces Divorce
Melania Trump will paint Trump Tower pink and rename it once Donald moves to the White House. Castle Pussylvania and Pussy Pylon are two of the possible new names. read more
written by XRhonda Speaks, 16 January 2017
Trump: Pink floyd To Pay For Wall
The President elect will seek funding from Congress and then he will send the bill to the band.
written by XRhonda Speaks, 14 January 2017
What's In Trump's Folders?
Trump aides jealously guarded the folders during the President elect's news conference and for good reason: it turns out they were the resumes of models "disappeared" by Trump International Talent.
written by XRhonda Speaks, 11 January 2017
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