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Premier League to sell TV rights to Alien planets

bidding war breaks out between Xeronex Prime and Rigal 7

written by Patrick Parkinson, 17 February 2015

Nicole Scherzinger to be prize at next years F1 Championship

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written by Patrick Parkinson, 07 December 2014

Putin throws petrol all round Russia and sets fire to it for insurance money

Russian leader decides to start up country again from scratch

written by Patrick Parkinson, 07 December 2014

Cardiff man regrets "foolish" solo attempt at large chocolate Toblerone

Currently in hospital with tiredness

written by Patrick Parkinson, 07 December 2014

Brendan Rodgers smells Luis Suarez's pillow

Liverpool manager struggling to come to terms with loss of star striker

written by Patrick Parkinson, 07 December 2014

Forgetful terrorist rushes to petrol station to buy last minute 9/11 anniversary present

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written by Patrick Parkinson, 16 September 2014

Katie Price sheds skin

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written by Patrick Parkinson, 25 August 2014

ITV commisions new show about divorced and bitter middle-age cop solving murder case again

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written by Patrick Parkinson, 14 August 2014

Third airplane calls in sick with Ebola virus

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written by Patrick Parkinson, 07 August 2014

Father relieved to have caught son watching "regular" porn this time

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written by Patrick Parkinson, 02 July 2014

Next World Cup winner to be chosen via lottery

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written by Patrick Parkinson, 28 June 2014

Sky News to launch channel dedicated soley for Iraqi car bombing reports

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written by Patrick Parkinson, 28 June 2014

12 Years A Slave: The Video Game flops

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written by Patrick Parkinson, 28 June 2014

Godzilla holding out for better contract before signing on for sequel

More to follow...

written by Patrick Parkinson, 15 May 2014

Final Hobbit film's end credits to be turned into HBO mini-series

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written by Patrick Parkinson, 15 May 2014

"Evil" Sat Nav leads innocent drivers to grizzly death

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written by Patrick Parkinson, 15 May 2014

"Kardashians Take Over Crimea" TV series cancelled due to insensitivity accusations

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written by Patrick Parkinson, 15 May 2014

Third sniffer dog drowns during search for missing flight MH370

"Gypsy" the sniffer dog reportedly ran in the Indian Ocean during search and hasn't been seen since.

written by Patrick Parkinson, 20 March 2014

"Human Statute performer" revealed to be actual statue

Previously was thought to be extremely dedicated artist

written by Patrick Parkinson, 20 March 2014

Daily Express reassures readers they have enough Princess Diana stories to last until the next decade

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written by Patrick Parkinson, 14 March 2014

Meterologists Society confirms winter officially ends "when Arsenal are knocked out of the Champions League"

Clocks to be reset as of 12pm today

written by Patrick Parkinson, 12 March 2014

Beer bongs, glow sticks and Condoms - Clean up begins after Liberal Democrat conference

Angry janitor declares "I didn't sign up for this shit!"

written by Patrick Parkinson, 10 March 2014

Statistics show number one searched for word in Bing search engine is "Google"

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written by Patrick Parkinson, 05 March 2014

Father assures son there's nothing under his bed apart from his imagination and hungry pet cougar

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written by Patrick Parkinson, 02 March 2014


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