Showing breaking news satire snippets written by Trinculoman.Show all snippets.
Joe Biden Plans a Visit to a Fellow Joe Before Taking Off to OZ
A key research step prior to the OZ trip will be Biden visiting Joe Scarboro to find out how he lost his brain as a result of appearing on MSNBC. Wicked Witch Mika may have something to do with it.
Beto O'Rourke Sets Up Next Extremely Personal Video Campaign Teaser
After airing his dental visit, Beto is making a next major campaign move. He has contracted with Proctology Now to broadcast live his upcoming colonoscopy. Voters will see what Beto is really about.
Joe Biden Takes a Major Step in His Planned 2020 Presidential Run
Biden is preparing a significant trip in service of his putative 2020 candidacy. Joe is stuffing his pack for the trek to the Emerald City to plead with the Wizard of Oz to finally give him a brain.
Elizabeth Warren Still Trying To Transform Her Roots
Latest Warren gambit is a Twitter video showing her under hood of her Mercedes. Face besmirched, she turns to the camera, citing her descent from 'grease monkeys'--Oops, didn't she mean auto mechanics.
Pelosi Does Believe in Some Kind of 'Walls'
House Speaker Pelosi denies a Southern border wall. Yet, she avidly "walls" herself off from the reality of 'Angel Families' who have lost loved ones to the acts of illegal immigrant criminals.
Olivia Ocasio-Cortez Proclaims Definitive Status of Holy Family
Putative Biblical scholar Ocasio-Cortez proclaims status of Jesus, Mary, & Joseph--Nicaraguan emigrants seeking asylum from King Herodus-Ortega. But,Joe only wanted to do carpentry work in San Ysidro.
written by Trinculoman, 26 December 2018
Senate Demos Now Blaming Kavanaugh for Hurricane Florence
Booker,Feinstein,& Harris blame the SOTUS candidate for causing Florence's attack on the Carolina Coast.There's a "secret letter" from Valhalla charging the Judge with cursing Thor when in pre-school.
written by Trinculoman, 14 September 2018
Serena Williams' Motive for On-Court Behavior Revealed
The US Open umpire didn't realize that for Serena, it was nothing personal. She was simply auditioning to join the cast of The View.
written by Trinculoman, 09 September 2018
Ex-Emperor Goes on the Airwaves with Desperate Message
Ousted Potentate Obama on TV demands a coup to reinstate his self-proclaimed throne,to return to "teaching moments" for all unwashed 'deplorables',& to get Queen Sheba Susan Rice back in the Hot Tub..
written by Trinculoman, 08 September 2018
A Definition of 'Free Speech' Clarified
Calling the endless screams of addled harpies at a Judiciary Committee meeting 'Free Speech' is akin to referring to the endless whining of Senate Democrats as 'Rational Discourse.'
written by Trinculoman, 05 September 2018
China's Chairman Xi Doing Well with Extra Benefits
Thanks to the rewards from hacking all of Hillary's emails,Chairman Xi is now enjoying his generous weekly financial stipend from the Clinton Foundation--and the steady flow of interns also is a plus.
written by Trinculoman, 29 August 2018
Pope Francis Disavows All Blame for Priestly Pedophilia
His Holiness claims no responsibility for Catholic priests' sexual assaults on children. He was "embedded" as Chaplain for a cadre of radical leftists bent on subverting freedom across South America.
written by Trinculoman, 27 August 2018
Elizabeth Warren Demands New Appointment for Vacant Arizona Senate Seat
"Pocahontas" Warren proclaims she will accept no appointment to a McCain-vacated seat other than "Geronimo"Ocasio-Cortez who recently discovered that she is descended from a band of Apache Socialists.
written by Trinculoman, 27 August 2018
Michael Cohen Goes on Angie's List with an Urgent Request
Trump-Ex-Lawyer Cohen is desperately seeking a service technician in the NYC metro area. He needs an expert to remove his gonads from the Craftsman vice that Mueller's squad squeezed them in.
written by Trinculoman, 25 August 2018
Governor Cuomo Agrees to Go to Canada
NYGov Cuomo will use the ticket Trump bought him, but there are some stipulations. Cuomo demands to be Don of Toronto mafia & Trudeau demands Stormy Daniels as his 'personal' assistant. Done deal!
written by Trinculoman, 24 August 2018
Better Investigative Use of Mueller's Prosecutory Focus
While Mueller diddle-daddles over non-existent matters in Trump's campaign, real crimes in the Catholic church go unpunished! Plenty criminality in Popedom to keep an 'independent' counsel busy!
written by Trinculoman, 21 August 2018
Ex-CIA John Brennan Heads Up New Militant Group
Emulating his hero Robespierre, a pissed-off Brennan leads a new faction of Contra-Deplorables. The goal is to execute via guillotine at CIA HQ all those who disagree with him.
written by Trinculoman, 18 August 2018
Porn Lawyer Seeks to Expand Show-Biz Career
Fresh off countless CNN appearances, creepy porn lawyer Michael Avenatti has sued Marvel Comics, demanding to be taken on as their latest super-hero -- Rabid-Ranting-Rodent-Esquire-Dude.
Christopher Steele Expands His Farcical Spewing in a New Venue
Cut from a corrupt FBI, Steele had to keep kippers on his plate. So, he answered an ad in Variety, and now he's Rosie O'Donnell's new Rant Writer, thus confirming a universal law: all slime converges.
Peter Strok Gets New Job
Recently-canned ex-FBI Strok lands on his feet with new gig. He's the security guard at the Bethesda, MD, Chuck-E-Cheese. No worries, he's already geared-up to harass all Trump-voting soccer moms!
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Learns about 'Marxism'
Ocasio-Cortez went to the New York Public Library to get the definitive book, asked for it, and was ready to check it out. Fortunately, Ben Shapiro explained it was Karl Marx, not Groucho's memoirs
Nancy Pelosi's Body is Much in Demand
Many top medical schools have made bids for the eventual corpse of Pelosi. All want to study effects of contemporary mummification techniques on quasi-living tissue. Madame Tussauds also wants in!
Bernie Sanders Devastated at Lack of New Hairdo
Bernie desperately wanted a fake 'man-bun' for the Fall campaign, but the Socialist Farmers of Vermont couldn't slaughter enough albino goats to make one for him.
The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table
Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.
written by Trinculoman, 15 May 2018